Hmm, yeah, those crazy UFO’s making chemtrails everywhere… I mean have they no shame?  Oh shit, you actually wanted to hear that our government is covering up the fact that they are TRYING to screw us over with some sneaky chemicals… No, it’s actually the lizard people doing that, but if you believe that the lizard people have already infected every level of our government… perhaps even me!!!!!!!

If you believe in sneaky-government-conspiracy-chemtrails-and-lizards then you most definitely have been stuffed up because you sir, are a hypochondriac.  Don’t worry, I have known more than one of those in my life.  It won’t kill you, but rather it will just make you whiny about all that ales you. 

To be honest, eating spaghetti everyday is probably the best thing you can do.  Consistent diet with some carbs (no you fucking atkins idiots, carbs are not bad for you, atkins died a fat fuck with cancer and a heart attack, sounds healthy to me) is good for you so long as you burn them off.

Not a hypochondriac?  Perhaps you should just start sniffing cayenne pepper.  I mean fuck the cause of the sickness, that will cure it!  Just don’t touch it and then go to the bathroom, trust me, I know…