Hmm, lets see. We would notice right away, what with it being hella-cold and needing to buy some crazy-thick sweaters. Plants and trees would start dying off. I never much liked plants/vegetables, but I am fairly attached to the oxygen that trees produce. Trees are however hard-core and would probably survive longer than us though, so lets move on. The sun is holding our ass in orbit, so we would probably start playing bumper planets with other now sun-less planets.
Of course, our entire system of gravity would change. That would be crazy fun for a little while, but will get annoying listening to everybody talking about how we are all going to die and finding a way to say “I told ya so”, when it just so happened the sun vanished on Jan 1st. 2012
The human race are all crazy, adaptable viruses and once we stopped feeling sorry for ourselves we would realize the only sane thing to do is to start by destroying Louisiana and digging a big-ass hole until we reach hell. I mean hell produces massive amounts of heat and oxygen and is also believed to be a good source for evil powers.
Between evil powers and our new found energy / oxygen / heat source, we would actually survive and my prediction that the world won’t end in 2012 would still be accurate. Though people will still say, no we tried to say “life as we know it” would end, so we were right, but alas… it would not be true since we would still be eating way too much processed food and browsing the internet for some random smartasses blog entries.
The same thing that happened at the end of ‘99. Everybody wigged out and threw end of the world parties.
As well stated by The Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy… DON’T PANIC
Of course I could be just sugar coating it for you since I have already seen several signs of the Apocalypse
You will be able to see if I was right or wrong in:
P.S. Thanks for not asking another repeat question like the other 5 questions asked around the same time.
It’s a big ball of “stay the hell away or i’ll fry your ass“, Aka: A nuclear weapon that hasn’t finished killing us yet…
If my calculations are correct I believe that big ass ball is made of hydrogen (70%), helium (27%), estrogen (17%), mercury (14%) and heavier elements (8%).
“That’s HOT!” ~ Paris Hilton on the sun
“THERE IS NO TIME!” ~ Jack Bauer on Time.
“He flexes like a whore/Falls wanking to the floor” ~ David Bowie on Time.
“Time never ends and never begins. It’s an illusion. It’s only in your mind. Unfortunately, no one can be told what it is, you have to see it for yourself.” ~ Morpheus on Matrix of Time.
“You’ve never heard Jungle Love?! That shit is the MAD NOTES!!” ~ Jay on Morris Day and The Time
“If you stop it you’ll get negative space!!… or was it the other way around?” ~ Dio Brando on stopping time or creating negative space
“I have Sexy Time with my mother-in-law.” ~ Borat on Sexy Time
Ok, I’ll tell you what they don’t tell you in the classrooms:
The Speed of Light, or the speed of lightness usually describe the speed a woman decreases her weight during a weight reduction program or exercises.
The speed of light is absolute, which is the speed of decreasing the mass of a given human female to the mass of 0 at the rate of 300,000 km per cubic square per second. This is absolutely the fastest time any object in the universe can change from one form of state into another state.
As a dream for humanity for reaching optimal level of female beauty of zero mass, various technology have been adopted to reach the speed of light. Unfortunately, currently we do not have any weight reduction technology even close to the speed of light for weight reduction.
One way to approach the speed of light is by running. When a woman runs, she burns her calories and dissipates energy and decreases her mass, though the rate of decrease varies from subject to subject.
Nevertheless, so far no human have ever reached the speed of light by running, the closest have been achieved are in Olympic events where splinters breaks the world records. Therefore, one can argue Olympic program is a scientific research institute trying to experiment new technology to reach the speed of light.
In 1905, Albert Einstein made a striking discovery that any woman can not reach any speed of weight reduction faster than the speed of light. He argued this in his famous equation : E=mc2. This equation shows that energy required for weight reduction program is polynomially proportional to the speed of light. Therefore, when a woman try to reduce her weight at the speed of light, it cost infinity of amounts of energy, making it is technologically non-feasible as well as economically non-affordable.
Einstein’s discovery is hailed by men from all over world for clarifying woman’s conception about themselves. His discovery saved enormous money and resources otherwise will be used for unrealistic research in weight reduction for woman beyond the speed of light. As a result, by the of the end of 20th century, we enjoy more wealth on earth than all previous periods combined. Because of this enormous benefit for society, Albert Einstein was awarded posthumously as the person of the century by Time magazine.
Oh, that’s not what you were talking about? Fine, fine, you wanted to know how fast light is….
The speed of light is very very fast indeed, so long as you don’t have really crappy wiring done that often screws up your lighting and permits the speed of light to reach three seconds. Apart from that it is in fact so fast that no one has managed to successfully record it, though numerous attempts have been made.
Light travels even faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak, for example, George Bush
The simplest and most successful attempt to measure the speed of light was performed by Max Planck, who invented the atomic bomb, uncertainty, fondue and Scientology. In this experiment, Max used the Beatrice Davenport particle accelerator in Germany, a twelve inch, wooden school ruler, a sixty watt light bulb and a high speed camera.
First he accelerated the ruler to as close to the speed of light as it would go. Then, a clever system of levers and gears ensured that when the ruler was projected out of the end of the accelerator, the light bulb was turned on and the high speed camera activated. It was then simple to calculate:
1. The speed of the ruler
2. How fast the light overtook the ruler
3. The distance along the ruler the light achieved before the ruler splintered against the opposing wall.
From these measurements it was child’s play to guess just how fast light travels.
However, during the preliminary calibration runs one of Max’s assistants was killed in an unfortunate recreation of the William Tell episode. The ruler failed to hit the apple at all and as a consequence of his death and in deference to the his grieving parents, the experiment was never completed. Despite this setback, Max used the calibration data to calculate his best guess at the speed of light and this has been accepted by the scientific community as a law.
The speed of light is 32 miles per hour.
The speed of heavy is 46 miles per hour. Although most people consider light to be the fastest thing there is, heavy is indeed faster but it takes longer to get up to speed and has problems turning corners.
It was also determined that Bonnie Tyler is faster than the speed of night.
More? Grr… Fine, speed of light in a vacuum.
There is well documented evidence that the speed of light does not stay constant in certain conditions. Light is often accidentally sucked into vacuum cleaners, and the forces subjected to it combined with the various purifying filters often cause the light to change speed, direction, or shape at random - it’s even possible for light to end up travelling backwards in these cases. The exact cause of this is currently unknown, but it is suspected that vacuum cleaners are actually mini black holes themselves, and thus have slight time-space continuum distortion effects on the matter they suck up.
The most famous light-vacuum cleaner interaction, often demonstrated as the prime example of this phenomenon, utilizes the Dyson vacuum cleaner. Due to the Dyson’s hyper-advanced technology, the effect is magnified several times. The Dyson is turned on at full power, and a beam of light from a powerful torch is directed into the sucking attachment. At first nothing may seem to be happening, but gradually, the dust receptacle will start to emit a purplish glow. The glow will get stronger and start humming. After it has “charged” for a while, the vacuum is switched to the reverse setting, and the glow is aimed at a randomly selected object. Though the stream of light only lasts a split second, and nothing will seem to have changed, the object that was hit by the beam will now have the consistency and taste of cheese. Scientists are baffled as to how this works, but it often makes for a great party trick at scientific gatherings.
Fine, you don’t like any of these explanations, try my answer for: “What is the speed of dark?“
You want to mine it? Heh, ok…. being the second lightest known element (after hydrogen) and the second most abundant element in the universe, it is created from nuclear fusion of hydrogen in stars. On Earth (where I assume you reside), helium is primarily a product of the radioactive decay of much heavier elements, which emit helium nuclei called alpha particles; it is found in significant amounts only in natural gas, from which it is extracted at low temperatures in a process called fractional distillation.
Is that enough big words for you? Or should I start talking about the weird french dude (Pierre Janssen) in 1868 who called it a yellow spectral line signature in the light of a solar eclipse. Then I could get to use words like thermal conductivity, specific heat, soluble, diffusion, noble gases, refraction, ionized, electric glow discharge,and polarization forces.
Wow, a couple non-retarded questions in a row! Since I appreciate that, I will give you a non-retarded answer.
You know how slow contractors are today right? Well they were far worse back in 3100 BC. See Stonehenge was not built by 3 groups over a long fucking time, but only because they were lazy mofo’s. Stonehenge I, had a circular henge with an entrance to the NE closing (which was probably a porta-potty to get the contractors to get "shit" done). A tall wooden archway set 65 feet away from the entrance. The fifty-six evenly spaced holes, or Aubrey holes, named after their discoverer, surrounded the porta potty, concentric with ditch and bank. The builders filled them in almost immediately because they were too bloody cheep to finish the plans (of course much later they were dug out and filled with creamated human remains!). Then there was the Windmill Hill people who were called in to help, and they used tools made from oxen bones and antlers to help get shit done, but upon some guy making a huge mess in the porta potty they too were fired.
So now it’s like 2150 BC and somebody goes. FUCK… We really need to get that shit done. So comith the Beaker people. Those guys wanted to impress the chicks with their big muscles so they thought they could get the project done better with some BAR’s (big ass rocks). They went across some water and pulled those BAR’s on wooden sleds over some BAL’s (big ass logs) until they got to water where they transfered the BAR’s to rafts. Ok so because of those Windmill Hill people, the Beaker Hill people didn’t have a porta potty to work with. So they decided to dig a shit ton of holes in the ground so all the workers could have their own place to take a squat. They also realized the usefulness of fecal matter as a cement agent and they tossed a bunch of bluestones in those holes after the workers went #2.
Having all got sick from their dumb ass holes filled with methane, they quit working on the project and another group was hired to get the job done. The Wessex people. The Wessex decided the Beakers didn’t know what the fuck they were doing and that their BAR’s were not big enough. So they went 20 miles away and loaded their SUV’s (stupid uneducated vigilantes) up with this hard ass sandstone shit called sarsen. The SUV’s had pretty good traction control so they had them slide the sarsen over ice to get it back. Then later they had one of the QECG’s (queer eye for the caveman guy) come in and finish off the project and adding such small touches as putting a single blue stone fragement in each hole to give it that mysterious, sex and power look they were going for.
