Talk to her… and have interesting stories to say. If she actually listens to your stories intently then just ask her out. If she is looking around or trying to get away then don’t bother and move on to the next.

Funny thing about that is if you got a girlfriend by being a dick, then she probably won’t like you anymore when you stop being one. Unless of course you just start being a little bitch and waiting on her hand and foot.

The best way to stop being a dick to your girlfriend is to figure out why you are a dick and come up with a different way to handle the situation. Once you think you have a handle on it break up with the current girlfriend and wait till you can find another one who won’t put up with it.

Well, you asked these questions on my birthday… So I will go ahead and answer them.

1) is it wrong to have sex with your cousin?
2) should i have sex with my cousin he is extremely hot?
3) is it wrong to be affectionate with your (girl) cousin like cuddling?

I’m sure you were not willing to wait a month for my answer and by this point have gone ahead and had sex with your cousin and you just want me to say it’s ok. Now, I certainly won’t give you any bible logic and say you are going to hell. I mean if that were true ¾ of “southerners” would be burning in hell… Do I think you should breed with them? No, if u want that move to Alabama or Louisiana.

Honest opinion is that it’s your life and you should be able to have sex with whomever you want so long as they are willing participants. Now I wouldn’t go around and advertise the fact that you are fucking your cousin or else you will get an extremely strong social castration that will not ever leave you. I mean you should feel a little dirty about it.. but only dirty enough to be able to still live with yourself without going insane.

Only you are responsible for your actions and only you know what you will be able to live with.

Stop the inbreeding, ban country music.

Dr. Phil was first made famous by the Devil. Oh you don’t believe me? My friend Josh will back me up on this. Oprah is the devil.

Anywho, that devil spawn knows that the best way to spread the message is to use housewives. See housewives / soccer mom’s have the power. They can tell their husbands anything and the husband has to go along with it if he ever wants to have sex with her again.

Basically it’s just a #’s game, and since sensible people wouldn’t listen to Dr. Phill they go with the other people, and hope that those people will be able to corrupt the more sensible people who know that even if their wives are not being logical they have to agree with them.

Question: smartass, i need to ask u something…
during one of my summer holidays i had abit of a tiff(yh im english) with my father, funny thing was that it wasnt my fault. but the thing that shocked me was that as soon as he left to go and get some shopping, i was going upstairs and i had my cellphone in my hand and the next thing i know is that im facing the door with a hole in it (which was’nt there before.) now i freaked out and called my dad, he obviously wanted to know what happened, and i told him the story. we figured it out that it was me that did it but i cant remember putting a hole though a door!!
it may be a phycology thing?(did i spell that right?)
Help me please!!

Answer: Ok dude. you want some psychology (good try) eh. This probably wouldn’t be considered psychology, but rather neurology. If you honestly did get so angry and punch a hole in the door and didn’t know it happened until it was done. Then you probably have a fucked up prefrontal cortex or an overdeveloped amygdala (basically the caveman area of the brain). It overrides the rational brain and suddenly fills your body with dopamine, adrenalin and other uppers fill your body instantly and all your blood shifts away from the skin to fuel your muscles for action. If this area of the brain is over developed you literally can’t think when you are too emotionally stimulated. You simply react.

To be honest, on this one I can’t even be a smartass about it because it is a seriously shitty thing to have. You NEED to be able to find a way to reassociate your strong emotional responses with something else as soon as they begin so that you don’t become a wife beater. Something or someone needs to break your state right before you go into the really strong state. Start by fixing the little things like road rage and trying to just get over it right away.

Basically you have a prefrontal cortex that is supposed to regulate your anger and and other emotions and send signals to the rest of the brain for how to react. Anyways if it learns to control where it sends the signals better by changing your emotional state right when you have it then you will no longer loose control and be overcome by your amygdala.

If this is a one time thing you can just do what I said and fix it yourself. If this has happened more than once where you have blanked out after anger or another emotion you seriously need to seek help. I’m sure most anger management programs aren’t with dick, but I’m sure you could find forums online for people who have had anger issues and have worked them out.

It depends on their religion. Well not really both of theirs, just the mothers. See the father will be the hardass and enforce the policy but that’s just because his balls have been in a vice for many years and have learned not to go against the Mrs.

So here’s the general way to work around this solution which works with the large populous of parents. Guilt. Basically you keep doing a bunch of good stuff without asking for anything in return. Then one day you will ask them to do this one little thing , and you Will Not Mention the good things you have been doing as part of your argument to go on the date because you really want it to appear that you were doing this out of the kindness that is you. They will probably say no, but then will start to feel guilty because you have been doing so many good things lately that they will change their minds a couple days later when you ask again.

If all else fails just invite the person you want to go out with over to study, and do it in the living room or the kitchen so you can be seen/heard since they will start to trust this person who’s making you want to study all of a sudden!!!!

I would have to assess the professor to see if they were lying when it comes to money. However if he “jokingly” said “I’ll give you an A if you suck me off”, then you know he means business and you can absolutely get yourself an A.

Not with the “Oh Poor Me” attitude. You can’t just sit around and wait for one. You need to clean yourself up and then pick up a guy. If you don’t feel confident then workout for a month or so to build up your confidence. I know this is very easy for even unattractive girl to do.

It’s crazy hard for a guy to do this since girls have the veto power, but most guys have relatively low self confidence when it comes to women so they will jump at the chance to go out with one when asked.

Well…. Are you a flake? I mean be honest. I have never sat around and though, “Wow, what a flake” unless I had good reason. Am I really that off base? I mean do you go home at night and theorize about Kurt Vonnegut and Schrödinger’s Cat while you get everything done you need to get done. Or do you instead get home and look at the VCR (which you sill own because you haven’t gotten around to upgrading) blinking 12:00 instead of getting the things done that you know you need to do but just never get around to.

Say we both live in Antarctica and I will be getting kicked outside of a building that closes down at 4pm. Can I depend on you to know that at 3:55 you will be outside waiting for me to come out? Or will you show up at 4:23 when I am half frozen to death and had to call you.

Don’t get me wrong. If it weren’t for the last minute I would get nothing done at all, so I am not saying I am above a little flakery now and then but there comes a point when you do it so often that it becomes a problem. At that point somebody should tell it to you straight, so that you can do something about it!

Silence is golden… and ignoring her will driver her nuts until she finally leaves you alone.

Or you can take the more spiteful approach and threaten to pour some capsaicin (hot pepper extract) in her food. Make sure you have the bottle when you make this threat as she will probably test you and you will need to actually do it to prove you will. From then on whenever you want her to shutup you can just alert her that you will do it again no matter what punishment you might get for it.

Or if you have some photoshop skill (isn’t that taught in pre-school now?) you can just make a picture of her doing something awful. Then you simply need nothing more than to remind her of the picture and she will cooperate. This method should only be used for extreme cases because though she will be quiet, she probably will hold a grudge for a LONG time where as the previous method will only make her not want to eat your cooking.