Awesome punctuation dude, but I will forgive it because you are rightfully not thinking clearly.

Sleep with her best friend for revenge…

No, but seriously I have had a couple girls cheat on me. Both times I dealt with it differently. Well right away I broke up with them both. One I said screw it and just moved on and the other time I ended up going back out with the girl after that (though I made a cool poem/comp cd).

See the thing is you can’t hit her, not that she doesn’t deserve it but because she has more legal rights than you. She presses charges and it doesn’t matter what reasons you had, you are still fucked, which you don’t want to get fucked over again by the same girl ya know.

My advise, break up. She will either feel miserable and try to get you back and then you can go back, or move on… If you take your sob story to a bar or some other women filled location it will work wonders because another woman will feel bad for you and want to make you feel better.

Your cousin, well lets be honest… family will always let you down, however if it wasn’t your cousin it would have been a friend… Guys who aren’t getting laid given an opportunity will take it even if they know better because in that moment all they can think about is getting laid. I’d half-ass forgive your cousin, by half-ass I mean say it’s cool but make a point to not bring your girl / future girl around him anymore. Unless you dump the chick and he keeps hitting it, then he’s just a twat waffle since he should know “bros b4 hoes” and a one time fuckup is cool but to keep doing it he made his choice, and a bad one because if she stays with him she will cheat on him 2.

I would have to assess the professor to see if they were lying when it comes to money. However if he “jokingly” said “I’ll give you an A if you suck me off”, then you know he means business and you can absolutely get yourself an A.

Not with the “Oh Poor Me” attitude. You can’t just sit around and wait for one. You need to clean yourself up and then pick up a guy. If you don’t feel confident then workout for a month or so to build up your confidence. I know this is very easy for even unattractive girl to do.

It’s crazy hard for a guy to do this since girls have the veto power, but most guys have relatively low self confidence when it comes to women so they will jump at the chance to go out with one when asked.

I consulted my Magic 8-Ball on this one. It advised that the “outlook was hazy” and then advised “definitely” and then advised to “please buy a t-shirt on thesmartass.info”. As it always works with an 8-Ball, please pick whichever answer you like best and claim that it was the only answer.

Well…. Are you a flake? I mean be honest. I have never sat around and though, “Wow, what a flake” unless I had good reason. Am I really that off base? I mean do you go home at night and theorize about Kurt Vonnegut and Schrödinger’s Cat while you get everything done you need to get done. Or do you instead get home and look at the VCR (which you sill own because you haven’t gotten around to upgrading) blinking 12:00 instead of getting the things done that you know you need to do but just never get around to.

Say we both live in Antarctica and I will be getting kicked outside of a building that closes down at 4pm. Can I depend on you to know that at 3:55 you will be outside waiting for me to come out? Or will you show up at 4:23 when I am half frozen to death and had to call you.

Don’t get me wrong. If it weren’t for the last minute I would get nothing done at all, so I am not saying I am above a little flakery now and then but there comes a point when you do it so often that it becomes a problem. At that point somebody should tell it to you straight, so that you can do something about it!

No, he’s just ‘very foreign‘

Silence is golden… and ignoring her will driver her nuts until she finally leaves you alone.

Or you can take the more spiteful approach and threaten to pour some capsaicin (hot pepper extract) in her food. Make sure you have the bottle when you make this threat as she will probably test you and you will need to actually do it to prove you will. From then on whenever you want her to shutup you can just alert her that you will do it again no matter what punishment you might get for it.

Or if you have some photoshop skill (isn’t that taught in pre-school now?) you can just make a picture of her doing something awful. Then you simply need nothing more than to remind her of the picture and she will cooperate. This method should only be used for extreme cases because though she will be quiet, she probably will hold a grudge for a LONG time where as the previous method will only make her not want to eat your cooking.

See what it all comes down to is car stereo’s. See for the most part white people are content without a giant subwoofer in their trunk constantly set at a mind blowing level. Not having the constant thumping of a beat going through their head then leads back to their inability to flow properly to the beat when they hear one.

Oh, and I went ahead and corrected your spelling of rhythm… I mean I would hate to have you look ignorant…

Love is such a relative word. What you should be asking yourself it “am I enough for Antonio?”. Ya see the thing is, earning a guys love is fairly easy.

You need to:
A) Put Out, and do so consistently… B) Don’t nag them… This also means about commitment and love. C) Don’t cheat

If you can do these things, and yes there are always exceptions to the rule where a guy will let these things go because they don’t think they can do better…. but stick with those three and you will be loved.

To be honest it probably won’t be the type of love you want it to be, but then again… Nobody ever gets exactly what they want. Life is all about compromise and putting up with bullshit. So you weigh the amount of bullshit you will put up with before you split. Just try to keep the BS to a minimum… Unless you are visiting this website in which case BS is perfectly acceptable conversation.

“I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am” may be ingrained in my brain for the rest of my life, however I do not believe there was any real world impact.

Jim Henson on the other hand created the Muppets after he graduated from Aleister Crowley’s School of Occult Puppetry, which means he created the Swedish Chef, Kermit T. Frog which have effected many people’s lives.

Here’s what was said about his impact at Uncyclopedia:

What are we to make of the legacy of Jim Henson? Perhaps there is some object lesson to be gained about tampering with forces beyond mortal comprehension, but I fear it is far too late for that. Whispers have already begun about the appearance of an eleventh Henson movie, possibly called Mirrormask. If this is true, nothing anyone does or doesn’t do will ever matter again.

Now if that doesn’t strike you as having had world impact, I don’t know what will…