What the hell, I don’t know, “as often as I look up porn”?

Some quotes that may inspire you;

“The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly.” Sigmund Freud

“If you’re going to gamble your lives sexually, don’t play a lone hand too much.” -Mark Twain

All utilities and tweaks that say they will improve your speed are full of shit.  It’s like people who sold Y2K testing programs.  They made lots of money because there was a perceived need, but they were just being cheated.

Thing is no matter how much you tweak shit, you still have to connect to that shithouse ISP, and they can limit you in all sorts uncomfortable ways (not so unlike the back of a Volkswagen Beetle).  When I was paying for “FAST” speed which was a laughable 3mbps (and I was being raped on bandwidth).

So the only solution I see is instead of trying to squeeze more speed out of your ISP, I suggest you start bridging together your internet connection with, say your entire town. 

I have theorized how to do this long ago, but now I will freely give the info to the world. 

1. Build a cantenna.  Basically a pringles can, or a nice beef stew can.  They actually produce these nice 2ghz signals that are perfect for wifi.  You can also build them just by raiding your pantry.  (Just google “cantenna tutorial”). 
2. Take satellite dish on your roof for the crappy tv service you are no longer paying for (since you just plan to download all your tv shows for free onlinem when you have faster speed) and attach your cantenna to the satellite dish so that you are now bouncing your 2ghz something signal off of a big ass satellite dish.  This in turn gives you about 10 miles (16 kilometers) worth of directional wifi, surely there will be some open connections in this range.  Just adjust satellite until you find direction with several open connections.  You could quit right here and not pay for internet, but that doesn’t help your speed.
3. Once you get your first signal working off of this, you should attach more cans to the satellite dish,  (or to your neighbor’s dish) and run that into another network card.  Yes this step requires you to purchase multiple network cards, but for the experiment 2 will do.
4. Now those internet connections don’t work together.  They just switch what they are doing and confuse the crap out of your browser.  So you need to develop a packet control software.  It should work basically just like bittorrent.  The data you request should be converted to hash on the fly by the software and then sent as packet requests through multiple connections.  As the data came back in the hash file would verify the data and reconstruct it to usable data. 

This may sound tricky, but I think it would be really easy with a couple talented developers to bridge multiple internet connections and convert the data to hash packets and bring it back.  All you are doing is building a router for multiple connections.  The potential of this system could take just your neighborhood and turn it into a 50mbps wireless connection, and if there were bandwidth restrictions they would become non-issues since you would only be getting a little data from many places. 

This would also prevent legal issues (if you had permission to use the connections you were bridging) for copyright violations since no one IP address would be logged as having downloaded ANYTHING.  As far as the ISP is concerned your IP only downloaded lets say 120 random packets of that Metallica Discography and that’s not enough to charge you with. 

This is part of a bigger idea I have to free the world, so check back on thesmartass.info in a couple months for a free draft on rewriting the world.

Nope. I wasn’t interested in it. I haven’t made anything in flash since 2005 and have made maybe 5 things in flash all total. You want to see the last couple I have made? Binary.Overload (header) | Infinite Paradox (splash)

See I could do more in flash if I liked it but I just do not like it at all. I don’t like having to use a program to string together my site, I want it all written in notepad or something that just makes the text pretty colors so I can see where my errors are. As I’m writing this post I am coding it in HTML on the fly because to me that is easier than clicking a button on the toolbar to insert a link or a picture. I suppose that is kind of sad really, but I don’t like flash so I will not pursue it.

A bootable install disk? burn an ISO file. If instead you mean a bootable XP Live CD then you can do so with Bart PE.

But if you don’t want to make your own and you feel a bit nefarious then you can just go to the Pirate Bay and find the perfect Live CD to suit your needs:

XP Live List (be sure to read comments b4 downloading anything from there)

You can’t really modify your modem as all it’s doing is sending the data you are requesting. If there is a way it doesn’t seem logical as it would have to somehow encode the data and then decode it again which would slow your shit down quite a bit.

There are various ways you can go into a SSH session and tunnel all your traffic through SSL so it looks like it all came from a https:// address, but what a pain in the ass. That works well for browsing restricted websites but not so good for file sharing.

If you are downloading files like torrents, i assume most modern programs have built-in protocol encryption. I use utorrent and you can enable or even force the encryption which makes it so your ISP can’t see it as being bittorrent traffic. They will however see you flooding the shit out of a port and might assume it to be bittorrent but it will not be able to be shaped. I know azureus has the same thing.

Otherwise you can browse the web through the TOR network which won’t show up as standard packets and you can set a lot of things to use port 80 so they look like standard web traffic. Between doing these things I have never heard a peep from my ISP’s.

That’s a thought. I wonder if I could make this thing grab random blog entries from google and insert them into the page based on your question. It would be interesting to see what the result would be, however I doubt they would give you the answer you really deserve.

I did consider creating a “robotic FAQ page” once. I even started programming in responses, but it’s hard to teach a script how to be a smartass…

They seek global domination through the zombication of the young via the slow, but effective process of MMORPG sales. You can corrupt many young minds with 1, but you can corrupt hundreds of thousands of minds through thousands of MMORPG’s.

From a marketing/domination standpoint it makes perfect sense:
-Make online game that never ends and turns people into zombies
-Sell game for a wad of cash.
-Continue to charge a fee every month to all your zombie members (to help fund war efforts)
-When money stops coming in, make another game to not lose your zombies. In fact, probably best to just make the game in advance so that they can get sick of it and just start paying for your new game right away.

Sadly, even the crappy ones make $$$ because there is always somebody who wants to be the guy who has spent hundreds of hours mastering it, for geeky bragging rights.

Yeah, it was pretty straight forward what happened.  It didn’t load your profile, however you still have the old one, I have seen it happen before.  What you need to do is just find the profile directory and overwrite the new profile with the old one. 

Start Menu > choose Run > type %appdata% (hit enter) > double click Mozilla > Firefox > Profiles > You should now see 2 directories.  One of them is older than the other one, both of them have weird names.  Simply go into the older folder and press CTRL + A (select all) > CTRL + C (copy) > go back to the other directory > CTRL + V. 

Make sure that the directory you are copying has your stuff in it.  You will notice that the bookmarks.html will be bigger in file size and there will be a bunch of stuff in the extensions sub folder for the older one. 

Firefox, hands down! Just because Opera can pass an acid test doesn’t make it a good browser. Firefox can do anything so long as you find the right add-on for it. Mine currently blocks virtually all ad banners and popups, posts blog entries to my many blogs, has a bitchin’ “stumble upon” tool bar that take me to random quality websites. It tells me how fast I am uploading and downloading through uTorrent. It has a fantastic web developer tool bar that I can turn on when I need it. It has winamp controls and well, it does everything but do my laundry.

Opera, well you can add a few things for it, but for the most part it is just a browser that is ok because it is standard compliant, and my webpage still works in it last I checked. However it’s not popular enough for people to develop cool shit for it. Stick with firefox unless you absolutely must be different than everybody else.

Oh, and since this is the same person who asked “LCD or Plasma” I will also point out that I JUST answered that a couple days ago in this post: Seeing as your my new source for information, I gotta ask – Whats better Plasma or LCD TV screens? And whats the deal with Laser/Lazer TV thats coming soon?