Consuming more acidic food than alkaline food. No wait, that’s too simple. Oh yeah, I recall the real reason… It’s my fault. I cause an acid imbalance. I know, it’s rather rude of me. But I was bored and thought it would be fun to experiment with the human body to see if it could stretch it’s own limitations by giving it food and chemicals it had been unable to previously process.

Turns out when I did that I caused cells to evolve to survive the acid. This was fascinating so I started trying to make everything acidic so that we could really push the boundaries of human beings. Well I did. It caused the cells to evolve and become super strong. So strong we named the cells cancer.

Sadly I had not first worked on teaching the cells to communicate with each other from a higher point of consciousness, so the cells didn’t realize that they were killing the host. They even started teaching their friends and neighbors how to survive the acidic environment I gave them, but their neighbor’s also couldn’t see from a higher dimensional perspective and eventually the started killing off organs and eventually the host.

Don’t worry about it though. Since I started that experiment I have also started teaching the cells to see from higher dimensions and they will soon stop killing you all off, even with the tasty processed food and drugs I created. So there is no need to clean up your diet and you can continue to eat acidic crap and consume dehydrating liquids instead of water.

Good Times

I don’t know, friend. Do you make a point to piss on your shoes? (not to offend you if you’re into that sort of thing). It’s more a question of hygiene than anything. The whole point of showering off is to get cleaner, not soil yourself more.

1) You could go to the health store and buy some “Activated Oxygen“, it’s really inexpensive. The compound is actually just chlorine dioxide if you have a chemistry set, but it can do amazing things.

2) Diaphragm Breathing. Basically you just breath in, hold your breath for twice as long as your inhaled and then exhale slowly. Do this 10 times in a row for a very strong cleansing effect. This works because all of the cells in your body are surrounded by lymph nodes which are basically just oxygen powered garbage disposals. So by holding your breath it gives the oxygen time to circulate through the system and collect it’s garbage.

Why is it ever hard to pee? Because you are dehydrated.

Drugs should cause you to pee even more than your normally do since your body is working double time. So unless you are being retarded and not drinking enough liquid to keep up, you will pee more. Drink WAY MORE liquids if you are doing drugs and if you have a brain, quit meth.

Well typically it’s halitosis (bacteria chillin’ like villains in yer mouth). However since she will be brushing her teeth and chewing gum here is a good list of the shiznit that could also be a causing it.

Medical Causes of Bad Breath
1. Sinus infections & abnormal sinus anatomies, post nasal drainage (drips)
2. Tonsilar infections or tonsiloliths
3. Lung diseases
4. Kidney diseases
5. Liver diseases
6. Blood disorders
7. Diabetes
8. Gallbladder dysfunction
9. Menstruation
10. Carcinomas
11. Certain foods

Dental Causes of Bad Breath
1. Extensive dental decay
2. Periodontal (gum) disease
3. Oral infections or abscesses
4. Oral cancers
5. Xerostomia (dry mouth condition). Many medications can contribute to a condition of xerostomia.
6. Oral conditions resulting from post-nasal drips or discharges
7. Allergy conditions
8. A proliferation of specific types of gram (-) anaerobic bacteria.

Beyond these you might consider trying to “cleanse” out your organs. Liver, kidney, colon etc.. because doing that will improve your digestion and your body will better be able to process all the crap you throw at it without making you blow out putrid smelling liquid. There are tons of cleanses at www.curezone.com

Global Warming.

They could be harmless and come from the grease glands that we all possess. Or they could be Fordyce’s spot which is also harmless. If that doesn’t fit the look/symptoms and you haven’t had sex they might actually be cancerous. No, I’m not fucking with you and you will need to see a doctor, and not just your family doctor but a specialist. Somebody who does genitourinary medicine. The family doctor will just call it something simple based on looks alone and won’t do any tests. I figure if you have the balls to ask another man to look at spots on your penis, he better at least do some fucking tests so you can determine what it is for sure.

Just don’t take any chances and screw up your health because you are too embarrassed to have it checked out.

Question: smartass, i need to ask u something…
during one of my summer holidays i had abit of a tiff(yh im english) with my father, funny thing was that it wasnt my fault. but the thing that shocked me was that as soon as he left to go and get some shopping, i was going upstairs and i had my cellphone in my hand and the next thing i know is that im facing the door with a hole in it (which was’nt there before.) now i freaked out and called my dad, he obviously wanted to know what happened, and i told him the story. we figured it out that it was me that did it but i cant remember putting a hole though a door!!
it may be a phycology thing?(did i spell that right?)
Help me please!!

Answer: Ok dude. you want some psychology (good try) eh. This probably wouldn’t be considered psychology, but rather neurology. If you honestly did get so angry and punch a hole in the door and didn’t know it happened until it was done. Then you probably have a fucked up prefrontal cortex or an overdeveloped amygdala (basically the caveman area of the brain). It overrides the rational brain and suddenly fills your body with dopamine, adrenalin and other uppers fill your body instantly and all your blood shifts away from the skin to fuel your muscles for action. If this area of the brain is over developed you literally can’t think when you are too emotionally stimulated. You simply react.

To be honest, on this one I can’t even be a smartass about it because it is a seriously shitty thing to have. You NEED to be able to find a way to reassociate your strong emotional responses with something else as soon as they begin so that you don’t become a wife beater. Something or someone needs to break your state right before you go into the really strong state. Start by fixing the little things like road rage and trying to just get over it right away.

Basically you have a prefrontal cortex that is supposed to regulate your anger and and other emotions and send signals to the rest of the brain for how to react. Anyways if it learns to control where it sends the signals better by changing your emotional state right when you have it then you will no longer loose control and be overcome by your amygdala.

If this is a one time thing you can just do what I said and fix it yourself. If this has happened more than once where you have blanked out after anger or another emotion you seriously need to seek help. I’m sure most anger management programs aren’t with dick, but I’m sure you could find forums online for people who have had anger issues and have worked them out.

It’s a myth that depth perception is entirely the result of having two eyes. Binocular vision does assist in making a three-dimensional picture. However, most of your ability to perceive depth comes from inside your brain. It has been wired to look at angles and proportions to judge distance.

If you required two eyes to perceive depth then most optical illusions wouldn’t work and it would be incredibly difficult to gather information from flat photographs. Not to mention a lot more one-eyed pirates walking overboard.

I’ve been blind in my left eye all my life and I’ve never, that I can recall, had a problem with depth perception except for small, fast-moving objects, like a baseball. I’m sure it doesn’t look the same as it does to someone with binocular vision, but I have no problems looking at an object and judging how far away it is with reasonable accuracy. – One-Eyed Kelli

The real question becomes, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT TO POKE OUT YOUR EYE WITH A STICK???

You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people’s ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.