Oh, that’s easy.  Same place he has been for many years.  America.  He was protected under the name Tim Osman in a CIA safe house for a long time until people leaked the documents.  Okay so our government did this and lied to you about it.  In the end we are the ones who allow governments to get away with such shenanigans.  All we have to do is stop giving them power and stop looking to other people as being some kind of enemy, when the only real enemy is yourself.

For more info on Tim Osman/Bin Laden:
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread342338/pg1

Reading this way really does work. You will absorb the information as pictures and be able to go back through the pictures later.

There is however a catch to reading like this. Because you are reading so fast your mind doesn’t have time to associate what you have read with random things in your head. So everything you read will only exist in short term memory unless you review the information.

Best way to do this is to photo read a chapter and immediately make a “mind map” of the major topics in the chapter. List the chapter name and then have arrows pointing to the key points made and then your mind will fill in the crap you absorbed to the mind map.

It will still be temporary unless you review the mind map a week later then a month or so later again so that you strengthen the new paths you made to the information.

Without some sort of structure you most likely won’t be able to recall the info at all before it leaves your short term memory.

Yes.

It absolutely positively takes a smart ass to know one. You can argue this all you want by saying “I’m not a smart ass”, and perhaps you really do not appear to be one today. But each day you are a different person. Each day you interpret reality a little bit differently than you did before. If you are not a smart ass in this life, then perhaps you were in a past life.

Thing is past lives aren’t really past, since past and future are only linear time concepts and you are not trapped in linear time. All things you perceive as the past are actually happening at this exact moment in a different dimension and at this exact moment you are being a smart ass. If you were not being a smart ass you would never have met one because you wouldn’t have the ability to understand the concept of what one is.

Linear time is just a game we play that provides us with an experience that we would otherwise not be able to understand with instant manifestation. You see it all the time. The radio and the television are broadcasting content simultaneously on many frequencies. The only one that is real to you is the one you are choosing to experience, but all the other ones are still happening concurrently.

You are a smart ass, and the sooner you accept this fact the easier your life will become, since you will have integrated and forgiven that part of yourself.

Well it depends on who you are scared of.  If you are just cheating on your girlfriend, then you deserve to get caught but better to piss of a girl than a giant corporation.  Take me for example, how screwed would I be:

Lets say the oil companies get wind of my new free energy device.  First thing they would do is google my name.  13,300 results for James Lyngaas.  Well everything on the first couple pages are mine.  It found lyngaas.net, thesmartass.info, facebook.com/thesmartass.  It found a linkedin profile, 2 of my blogs, an archive.org profile, a ted.com profile, google profile, a flickr profile, ancestry.com relatives, profiles of my friends and well going to a couple of those sites or profiles would indicate my username is normally trimidium.  So I googled my username and found 4,690 results and well just about all of them are from me.  It found my artwork, it found answers to questions I have given on yahoo, it found forum posts I have made, Well even if it didn’t find them on Google, you could go to popular sites and look up my profiles there.

Want to see what I was doing recently?  Then you need only filter the google search results to show stuff in the last week.  Want to know what my interests are?  Then look for my wish list at amazon, or find what I subscribe to on twitter.  Want to know my political status?  Just search my blogs for keywords (of course, even if you didn’t know it you voted for Bush a few years ago).  When was I online last, hmm, lets check with instant messenger profiles.  Music status?  I have 2 different last.fm accounts and a Pandora account.  I haven’t used a dating site in several years, but there are still old profiles out there.  Even if i Deleted them you could find them cached on archive.org and find out lots of personal info from it. Public tax info can fill in job, address, income, debt etc…  You ever fill out a census (the most invasive survey ever)?

Delusions of privacy ~~~
I showed up to a job interview one day and the guy had a printout of my myspace profile which said James (AKA The Smartass) and I had to “explain” it to him.  I thought it was none of his business and it certainly had nothing to do with how good I could fix computers, but it dawned on me.  Privacy is just an illusion, so is truth, every single thing is just the perspective we spin it with.  I believed having a website called thesmartass had nothing to do with fixing a computer, but the person who was interviewing did not believe this. I wanted to be his wage slave, so I had to smooth it over with him (I did end up getting that job).  

Spin is everything.  So much so in America that there is no reason to kill people these days.  You just put them in terrible debt and discredit them.  If they really start to step on your toes you just google them, see what bad shit they have been doing online and then setup a perfectly legal way to bust them for it.  Having trouble thinking up something to bust me for?  Well per the patriot act I have no freedoms.  So for absolutely no reason one day I could disappear because Homeland Security declared me a terrorist. 

In fact, this post will probably get flagged by some agency just because of the words I am using, since they can filter out keywords right through Google News (which generates feeds based on known blogs etc).  Or a robot will come to this page, and read for other words, and if enough words are flagged a real person will check out the page and assess if I pose a threat. 

Maybe my own site is secure, but perhaps one of the forums I post on is not, and perhaps somebody finds a backdoor into that forum and they determine one of my passwords.  Well if I used this password on other sites, then they can go back to all those other sites and try to get in with that password.  Or maybe they will just start sending me phishing emails (which a lot of people are dumb enough to fill out) and get me to try to login to sites that I am a member of, only the sites just look like that site. 

I once had a job offer from a legitimate private investigator to hack into people’s myspace and facebook accounts to determine where people were and what they were doing.  I flatly refused, as I am not ignorant and know that is highly illegal and unethical.  However since I didn’t do it, I’m sure he just found somebody else who would.

I don’t even see the need to break into those since since you can find so much on google and then make your way back to other things.  Then I don’t even need to pay somebody to analyze these things since most of these big public sites have beautiful API’s and they can extract your data, and mash it up with google maps, show your exact routine, dating preferences, twitter subscriptions, political affiliation, religious beliefs, friends, jobs, tax info, etc… You are being profiled and assessed right now. 

These are things that anybody can do and I didn’t write this to scare you.  Think about it though, if you are still a kid, then your parents are probably scared shitless of you getting hurt so they might be using a keylogger on your system and seeing everything you type.  They do it out of fear and love, however jaded it is.  But what if you scared the gov’t mule?  Well if I had a gov’t agency at my disposal and you scared me I would develop my own meta search engine and have it cross reference every name with usernames and then auto mashup every profile site into nice TPS reports for me. 

Despite these things I actually believe in open source and am thrilled shitless that these sites all offer public data.  Even government is starting to look towards providing raw data online.  I don’t mind the massive amount of information at all, because I have given up the extremely ignorant belief in personal privacy. 

I still remember when I was in my Junior year of High school and my school switched from wonderful yellow tickets to a card that got read by the computer, which had our social security numbers printed right on the front of the card below the bar code.  Parents threw a shitfit and the next year that was changed to a different number.  The old system wasn’t broken, it even worked better and faster.  However the old system didn’t harvest data.  The new system did and data is the new gold standard.

The world we live in is going to increase available data exponentially and there is no such thing as being anonymous on the internet anymore.  You post a comment on any page ever and it spits out an IP address.  I can trace that IP address back to your ISP in a couple seconds if you aren’t using an anonymous proxy.  If you ever did anything really bad on the internet somebody would subpoena the ISP for their logs, which would tie back to your name, and they would throw your real name and username all over the web until they found a bunch of other junk to charge you with. 

So you now know that you are not anonymous anymore.  Don’t be scared of it, as fear causes endless problems.  I for one think I am going to start posting comments and things with my actual name.  Because then I will be more conscious of what I say. 

How screwed are you?  You are 100% screwed if you use the internet more than once a week.  So just get over it and break your illusions of privacy and security and just start being a nice person online.  Try not to piss anybody off too badly, or else be prepared to change your name and start paying people to leave false clues on all your old sites through the tor network and even then if you land on the oil companies shitlist, you are probably still screwed.  I have too many friends I don’t want to stop talking to.  I have too many sites I visit that I don’t want to quit visiting, I don’t want to move to a new country and start all over as a farmer with no computer.

So fuck it, I am James Lyngaas, and I have no delusions of privacy.

All utilities and tweaks that say they will improve your speed are full of shit.  It’s like people who sold Y2K testing programs.  They made lots of money because there was a perceived need, but they were just being cheated.

Thing is no matter how much you tweak shit, you still have to connect to that shithouse ISP, and they can limit you in all sorts uncomfortable ways (not so unlike the back of a Volkswagen Beetle).  When I was paying for “FAST” speed which was a laughable 3mbps (and I was being raped on bandwidth).

So the only solution I see is instead of trying to squeeze more speed out of your ISP, I suggest you start bridging together your internet connection with, say your entire town. 

I have theorized how to do this long ago, but now I will freely give the info to the world. 

1. Build a cantenna.  Basically a pringles can, or a nice beef stew can.  They actually produce these nice 2ghz signals that are perfect for wifi.  You can also build them just by raiding your pantry.  (Just google “cantenna tutorial”). 
2. Take satellite dish on your roof for the crappy tv service you are no longer paying for (since you just plan to download all your tv shows for free onlinem when you have faster speed) and attach your cantenna to the satellite dish so that you are now bouncing your 2ghz something signal off of a big ass satellite dish.  This in turn gives you about 10 miles (16 kilometers) worth of directional wifi, surely there will be some open connections in this range.  Just adjust satellite until you find direction with several open connections.  You could quit right here and not pay for internet, but that doesn’t help your speed.
3. Once you get your first signal working off of this, you should attach more cans to the satellite dish,  (or to your neighbor’s dish) and run that into another network card.  Yes this step requires you to purchase multiple network cards, but for the experiment 2 will do.
4. Now those internet connections don’t work together.  They just switch what they are doing and confuse the crap out of your browser.  So you need to develop a packet control software.  It should work basically just like bittorrent.  The data you request should be converted to hash on the fly by the software and then sent as packet requests through multiple connections.  As the data came back in the hash file would verify the data and reconstruct it to usable data. 

This may sound tricky, but I think it would be really easy with a couple talented developers to bridge multiple internet connections and convert the data to hash packets and bring it back.  All you are doing is building a router for multiple connections.  The potential of this system could take just your neighborhood and turn it into a 50mbps wireless connection, and if there were bandwidth restrictions they would become non-issues since you would only be getting a little data from many places. 

This would also prevent legal issues (if you had permission to use the connections you were bridging) for copyright violations since no one IP address would be logged as having downloaded ANYTHING.  As far as the ISP is concerned your IP only downloaded lets say 120 random packets of that Metallica Discography and that’s not enough to charge you with. 

This is part of a bigger idea I have to free the world, so check back on thesmartass.info in a couple months for a free draft on rewriting the world.

Zombism has only been known to spread by being bitten by a zombie, however one could assume that if it could spread by way of a bite then we could assume that swapping other bodily fluids could also cause this. Your best bet is to have sex with the person before they turn into a zombie. If you insist on having sex with the un-dead then your best bet is to use protection (condom & a muzzle).

Question: smartass, i need to ask u something…
during one of my summer holidays i had abit of a tiff(yh im english) with my father, funny thing was that it wasnt my fault. but the thing that shocked me was that as soon as he left to go and get some shopping, i was going upstairs and i had my cellphone in my hand and the next thing i know is that im facing the door with a hole in it (which was’nt there before.) now i freaked out and called my dad, he obviously wanted to know what happened, and i told him the story. we figured it out that it was me that did it but i cant remember putting a hole though a door!!
it may be a phycology thing?(did i spell that right?)
Help me please!!

Answer: Ok dude. you want some psychology (good try) eh. This probably wouldn’t be considered psychology, but rather neurology. If you honestly did get so angry and punch a hole in the door and didn’t know it happened until it was done. Then you probably have a fucked up prefrontal cortex or an overdeveloped amygdala (basically the caveman area of the brain). It overrides the rational brain and suddenly fills your body with dopamine, adrenalin and other uppers fill your body instantly and all your blood shifts away from the skin to fuel your muscles for action. If this area of the brain is over developed you literally can’t think when you are too emotionally stimulated. You simply react.

To be honest, on this one I can’t even be a smartass about it because it is a seriously shitty thing to have. You NEED to be able to find a way to reassociate your strong emotional responses with something else as soon as they begin so that you don’t become a wife beater. Something or someone needs to break your state right before you go into the really strong state. Start by fixing the little things like road rage and trying to just get over it right away.

Basically you have a prefrontal cortex that is supposed to regulate your anger and and other emotions and send signals to the rest of the brain for how to react. Anyways if it learns to control where it sends the signals better by changing your emotional state right when you have it then you will no longer loose control and be overcome by your amygdala.

If this is a one time thing you can just do what I said and fix it yourself. If this has happened more than once where you have blanked out after anger or another emotion you seriously need to seek help. I’m sure most anger management programs aren’t with dick, but I’m sure you could find forums online for people who have had anger issues and have worked them out.

Depends on the myth. Fireball, dude I can shit fireballs… Seriously though, I have actually breathed fire. It’s fairly cool.. just swig a bunch of Everclear and just Barely open your mouth and spray out a mist of it into a tiki torch or something. That’s what I did. Then I further impressed people by putting out the tiki torch with my bare hands.

Martial Artists are just better trained in body and mind and what the mind believes the body can achieve. fat ####### chance you will convince yourself that you can walk on water but if you were to secretly put the right chemicals into the water you can, or perhaps you stuck some buoyant objects in the water just out of visual range.

You ever want to see some cool shit from martial artists then download “Mind Body and Kick Ass Moves”. I’m sure you can find it on mininova.org or isohunt.com. It shows this martial arts expert going around and talking to other experts. Some of them have some pretty neat tricks… In episode 1 a guy pulls a multi ton truck with his penis… now if that isn’t a super power then I don’t know what is.

That’s easy… Talk my way out of it. Now the catch is I need to use my sales and psychology skills and NOT my smartass nature. First thing I do is pull out my wallet while pulling over, then turn on the lights in the car & flashers, roll down the window and keep my hands on the steering wheel holding my wallet. This lets the cops feel safe since a lot of cops have been killed for pulling people over for speeding tickets. I have actually had an officer thank me for that once.

Next, they are going to ask you why they pulled you over. Don’t lie to them unless you think they pulled you over for drinking. Now don’t get me wrong, if they pulled you over for drinking they will probably know you are lying when you say you only had 2 beers all night however sometimes they don’t want to give you a ticket for drunk driving and will let you go if they think you are composed enough to not be a road hazard. If it’s for speeding you need to read them to see what they want you to say. I mean I can tell if they are a hardass and will give a ticket no matter what or if they really just need an oh-poor-me excuse to get out of it.

I had an officer tell me once “I am GOING TO GIVE YOU A TICKET” all stern like and I managed to get out of it with feigned ignorance. However another time a woman pulled me over and she was trying to prove she had big balls and I was able to read her and knew to just shut my fucking mouth and take the ticket so she didn’t write me up for another ticket… Most cops are ok and will let you off if you appear honest and own up to what you did.

I have had a very good success rate getting out of tickets. Got one directly before crossing a state line, but that guy wasn’t going to budge, I mean that’s why he was pulling out of state people over right at the state line…

If you do get a ticket, go to court. Do it… Court will always nock you down one level. Either less pay or less points if it’s a point state. You don’t even have to say anything… Just show up and get a reduction.

I think so. I mean religious nuts will try to say that death is what gives meaning to life, but LIFE is what gives meaning to life. You can take all the vitamins and live and eat healthy, but eventually your cells will die off and so will you. So why should we not find ways to cheat it? Our knowledge and technology are all expanding at an exponential rate. Every year we cut down on size requirements for nano technology and we continue to expand our knowledge in areas like genetics and neurosciences.

Who’s to say we can’t life forever and improve our quality of life? I mean once we isolate the Dick Clark Gene who’s to say that we can’t make a way to put it into other people? And once we better understand the body, who’s to say we can’t put some nanobots into people to enhance all their abilities (like tv show jake 2.0 which was more or less a modern version of the 6 million dollar man).

Everyday I get closer and closer to having free wireless internet EVERYWHERE I go. Who’s to say that I can’t have a dedicated server monitoring my body functionality from devices powered by my own electricity that are inside of me.

I saw a guy once who had put RFID chips into his wrists and then rewired his house, and car, and pretty much everything to respond to this.

I saw a mind controlled computer program that people could move objects on the screen around simply by sending the right mental signals.

All of this is expanding so fast that it’s only natural to expect it to conglomerate and expand our evolution.