Well, this is an easy one.

First, get some peanut butter.   Then grab yourself a handful of dog poop.   Ok, next you need to cut a small piece of your carpet.  Last you’ll need a picture of one of your parents naked (doesn’t matter which).

Ok, you’ve got those 4things? Good.

Next we need some information.

First, ask your parents if you were intentional or an accident, ok then you need to look up the exact number of times Steve Irwin said “Crikey!” .  Ok, then you need to get an exact word count for the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  (The books, not the movie script.)

Ok, once you have that information, mix it in a pot at boiling.

Did any of this make sense to you?   Cause I know if someone asked me to do all that shit I could damn well say “No!” to them.

In reference to your inquiry please see Beer:imported or domestic?

360 = 1 Good Game
PS3 = 1 Good Game

You Decide.

So I have decided to be an ass and answer the newest questions first since I have ignored the older ones for so long that the people who asked them probably don’t give a shit anymore….

Here’s the thing, now I being of sound mine and loaded with smartassedness (of course that’s a word) decided the best College for me to go to was none at all. I learned what I needed to learn because I was interested and could just sit around and search Google for the information I was missing. I mean if you get good at searching and trolling forums you can find anything fast.

So my recommendation goes like this: Pick a course on something that interests you, something you would enjoy… Don’t pick it because you think you might make more money or that somebody might want you to know it. Basically a degree gets you “a degree”… that’s it… You leave with a piece of paper and a ranking for that paper “associate, batchelors, masters etc..”. The title is the only thing that means a damn so pick something you like and just say you can do the things you didn’t study for.

Given that staggeringly difficult choice, I would have to go with 9. See to make the number worth something I figure we have to divide it into 42. If we divide 8 into it we only get 5.25, however if we divide 9 into it we get 4.66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 etc… etc… a far more devious number when you are trying to divide into the answer to life, the universe and everything

Interesting mix, a dead (yes, dead) pop idle, the dude from Road House, and some guy with a 3 part name that at first I thought was the kid from Home Improvement…

Come on, is there really a contest? I mean Elvis would slap them all silly if he weren’t dead. However since his death the king has gotten even more powerful. That dead man has an army of impersonators and lunatic fans that could destroy all opposition. Perhaps we could send the Elvis’ to war and end this all by tomorrow.

Besides, the king didn’t only do some crazy hip shaking / rocking. He invented a fried-peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich!!!! I mean how can you not respect that!?!?

Firefox, hands down! Just because Opera can pass an acid test doesn’t make it a good browser. Firefox can do anything so long as you find the right add-on for it. Mine currently blocks virtually all ad banners and popups, posts blog entries to my many blogs, has a bitchin’ “stumble upon” tool bar that take me to random quality websites. It tells me how fast I am uploading and downloading through uTorrent. It has a fantastic web developer tool bar that I can turn on when I need it. It has winamp controls and well, it does everything but do my laundry.

Opera, well you can add a few things for it, but for the most part it is just a browser that is ok because it is standard compliant, and my webpage still works in it last I checked. However it’s not popular enough for people to develop cool shit for it. Stick with firefox unless you absolutely must be different than everybody else.

Oh, and since this is the same person who asked “LCD or Plasma” I will also point out that I JUST answered that a couple days ago in this post: Seeing as your my new source for information, I gotta ask – Whats better Plasma or LCD TV screens? And whats the deal with Laser/Lazer TV thats coming soon?

I guess it depends on the school. I’ll break it down:

Pre-School: You get to paper mache balloons and take naps, and it’s better than being ignored by your parents. You probably learn more here than you will at any other time because you are taught in a fun way.
Elementary School: Interaction with others and recess
Middle School: Because your parents don’t want to home school you. Yeah, that’s the only good reason for middle school, it will be a horrible time while you are going through puberty.
High School: Because all the assholes who bothered you in Middle School will leave you alone, so you will start to have fun. You won’t like all your classes, but they are quick enough that you can spend most of your time fantasizing about the girl that you don’t have the balls to ask out. You will really learn things here, but it’s not because of the classes, but rather because you are interacting with so many different types of people.
College (after HS): Because you need to make your parents proud by wasting their money and changing major’s twice before dropping out in debt no further ahead than you were before. Also, you want to get laid, and with all the drugs and booze, even somebody as uncool as you will get laid. There is a lot of potential to learn here, but it’s not set up to teach you in the way you want to learn, so you will just be memorizing information just to pass tests that you will forget after you no longer use it.
College (WAY after HS): Now it’s actually helpful, you go to college or a tech school to learn a specific skill. You don’t live on campus and have done all your experimenting with drugs years earlier. Now you choose a specific topic and are actually there to learn, and you shall. However you still are spending a bunch of money, so unless you are loaded or your work is paying you to learn more, then it’s still worthless. You can learn everything that you learn here online or at the library for free!

Face it folks, interacting with people is important so that you don’t end up a guy who sits in a dungeon playing MMORPG’s all day every day and only interacting with other online characters. Outside of that, there is really no real reason to go to school other than it’s cheaper than paying somebody to take care of you.

“Knowledge isn’t in knowing the answer, but in knowing when to go to google.com” – James Lyngaas

My roommate insists that plasmas are really good once you go over 44″, but if you stay under that they aren’t worth it. I have seen them burn out and would say that an LCD would be a be a more consistent purchase. However I am a DLP fan myself. I just bought a shiny new DLP Projector, that is just fantastical.

Laser TV would kick donkey-ass (no pun intended). I mean seriously who doesn’t want to go bragging that they have a laser TV. I am currently looking into buying a “Wicked Laser“, just because it would be really cool to cauterize an open cut, or light somebody’s cancer stick with a freggin laser!

If they come out, they will cost WAY more than the technology that makes them. I would say to buy it for sure if you are a rap star or somebody, so that when MTV Cribs comes through everybody knows how hardcore you are.

Because you have a good thing going, and don’t really want to find a job. I have been there. If I am able to survive without a job, then why get one? Well The Smartass found you some jobs:

1) Sales represenative needed to prepare qoutes and guide customers on purchases with Dell computers.Must be able to work nights and weekends.Part time hours,12-28 hours per week.Starting pay is $11.00hr plus commision. (couldn’t be too hard to work here, all the words that are misspelled were like that in the official job post!)
Sales Rep $11/hr+commission

2) We monitor, guide and work as a team together in accomplishing our goals.We deliver cost effective services which is of great value to a lot of American Companies.Identify Leads and together we will land the sales.Can you work on your own after a brief orientation?All we need is your email address, full name and phone number and we will send you information to cash in on by joining our sales force. (talk about a GUARANTEED job)
Telesales Pros

3) Experienced sub-contractor wanted to install in ground flagpoles on an as needed job basis. Jobs include residential installations (generally 20’ – 25’ one piece flagpoles weighing less than 100 pounds) and commercial/governmental projects with flagpoles typically ranging from 20’ -40’ and weighing up to 350 pounds (experience, phooey, who the fuck is experienced at that? just tell them you have always wanted to have a job you can take pride in, hahaha)
Flagpole Installer

Ok, there are a lot more, I suggest you look at Craigslist. There are some cool one time project jobs there as well. Just suck it up and take one.