No, he’s just ‘very foreign‘

As much as I would love to say that life is totally free-ballin’ it, it just doesn’t seem to be the case. I would like to believe we maintain some control since we can fight our own instincts, we have all had prophetic dreams. Perhaps not often, and never about anything that important, but I have absolutely seen future events in my dreams.

Perhaps we had total free will at one point but since time is infinite and does not go in a straight line then perhaps the here and now also happened billions of years ago and that we are simply a rerun.

Best not to focus on the whole “woe is me, i’m just a pre-destined loser” thing, and instead try to focus on what you want to be, because at least then your mind will believe that you had free will and made yourself what you are.

Or you could just rationalize everything and say “God works in mysterious ways”.

Silence is golden… and ignoring her will driver her nuts until she finally leaves you alone.

Or you can take the more spiteful approach and threaten to pour some capsaicin (hot pepper extract) in her food. Make sure you have the bottle when you make this threat as she will probably test you and you will need to actually do it to prove you will. From then on whenever you want her to shutup you can just alert her that you will do it again no matter what punishment you might get for it.

Or if you have some photoshop skill (isn’t that taught in pre-school now?) you can just make a picture of her doing something awful. Then you simply need nothing more than to remind her of the picture and she will cooperate. This method should only be used for extreme cases because though she will be quiet, she probably will hold a grudge for a LONG time where as the previous method will only make her not want to eat your cooking.

IQ = Idiocy Quotient

It is an arbitrary number derived from a set of useless exams created by evil little people whose sole purpose is to make you feel like scum and is something that YOU have very little of. These tests measure a person’s ability to conduct a number of tasks to which most people raised in that society will be blatantly exposed, unless they don’t speak English. The questions on these tests are chosen on a basis of how many Americans out of 10 will be unable to answer it (between 4 and 9 are usually the best numbers). Based on this criterion, most questions are therefore about silly things like math and reasoning.

Idiocy quotient tests get their name from intellectuals, who are the only people able to remember what a “quotient” is, much less derive one from a set of data. These intellectuals are also the ones who wanted the IQ test in the first place, since they couldn’t beat anybody in more physical contests. IQ tests are typically scaled relative to the intellectuals, meaning they always wind up in the top 10% on their precious little “smartness scale.”

Once a person’s IQ has been determined, it remains with them forever. A person’s IQ is the most important measure by which to judge them. Most experts agree that your IQ should be a cause of great concern, and you should become very nervous when taking your IQ test. This excessive strain on your mind is healthy, and makes you smarter.

Remember: If your IQ score is anywhere below your expectations, you should feel very guilty. Failure to do so indicates a lack of obsessive perfectionism.

Llama

Tenacious D is the soul of rock, manifested in two of the greatest musicians in the world—Jack Black and Kyle Gass, who were well-known for their ability to sing inwardly. There talent was derived from doing Cock Pushups and listening to Dio records.

Because you would wig out if they were transparent…

100%…. If you are a Porn Star

square root(-1) = i

Well first you have to make sure you songs don’t suck. As far as you know they are fantastical, however you only know what family and friends have told you. So what you do is first test your songs with a nonpartisan crowd. This will require the internet. Easy enough, just record a YouTube video and read the 7 pages of comments.

Next you simply have to pick an artist and find a way to contact them. Rock Stars aren’t as difficult to talk to as you think. I have had actual email conversations with Kathy Fisher (Fisher the Band) and Rhys Fulber (Conjure One) simply because I was blown away by their music and sent them an email telling them that. After that both of them just happened to go to my website because the address was in my email signature and those were the only 2 artists I have tried to contact.

Also it’s fairly easy to talk to people after their concerts. I have had many conversations with opening bands while the other band is playing. Hell, one of them had a hot girl in it that kissed me. Just because they are not the main act doesn’t mean they aren’t going to be someday.

Life is just what you focus on most of the time. You can sit around feeling sorry for yourself our you can get out and make things happen. Edison failed over 500 times when trying to make a light bulb, but he did not view it as failure. He viewed it as simply 500 ways not to make a light bulb!