Tells > 1045 Ways to Reference Masturbation.

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 | Dating, Smartass
Hahahaha…. Yeah…

  1. A little five on one
  2. Abuse the fuse
  3. Adjust your set
  4. Anger the cobra
  5. Anger the pickle
  6. Answer the bone-a-phone
  7. Appease the cheese
  8. Arm-wrestle the one eyed champ
  9. Asexual reproduction
  10. Autofellatio
  11. Auto-manipulation
  12. Ax the timber
  13. Badger the witness
  14. Bag that ass up
  15. Bait the mast
  16. Bake cream cakes
  17. Bake the cheese
  18. Banana squeezing
  19. Bang yourself
  20. Bank off shoot goo
  21. Bash the bishop
  22. Baste the turkey
  23. Battle the Cyclops
  24. Be a loner
  25. Beat it
  26. Beat off
  27. Beat Pedro
  28. Beat the banger
  29. Beat the beef
  30. Beat the bishop
  31. Beat the bologna
  32. Beat the hog
  33. Beat the meat
  34. Beat the monkey
  35. Beat the morning wood (like every good boy should)
  36. Beat the one eye snake
  37. Beat the one eyed monster
  38. Beat the rat
  39. Beat the red-headed cock-eyed woodpecker
  40. Beat the shit
  41. Beat the stepchild
  42. Beat the stick
  43. Beat the weasel
  44. Beat up shorty
  45. Beat your cock
  46. Beat your gorilla
  47. Beat your pud
  48. Beat your skin
  49. Beatin’ the baby batter
  50. Beef the jerky
  51. Beef-strokin’-off
  52. Ben your Franklin
  53. Bend the banana
  54. Bitch-slapping your stomper
  55. Blind the one eyed monster
  56. Blow a wad
  57. Blow the ceiling
  58. Blow up
  59. Blow wad
  60. Blow your load
  61. Blow your nose
  62. Boff up
  63. Bollock milking
  64. Bop the boa
  65. Bop the bologna
  66. Bounce Tigger
  67. Bounce your balls
  68. Box Oscar
  69. Box the clown
  70. Box the Jesuit
  71. Bringin’ ya milk
  72. Buff the bullet
  73. Buff the pickle
  74. Burp the baby
  75. Burp the frog
  76. Burp the worm
  77. Bust a Nut
  78. Busting the left nut instead of the right one
  79. Butter the corn
  80. Call the captain
  81. Caress your zesty zambonie
  82. Chafe the squirtgun
  83. Charm the python
  84. Charm the snake
  85. Checkin’ the Ol’ Dipstick
  86. Cheesin
  87. Choke
  88. Choke the bishop
  89. Choke the chicken
  90. Choke the Choir Boy
  91. Choke the chubby
  92. Choke the monkey
  93. Choke the one eyed snake
  94. Choke the Pope
  95. Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse
  96. Choke the unemployed
  97. Chunking
  98. Churn butter
  99. Churn seed
  100. Circle jerk
  101. Clean the clock
  102. Clean the pipes
  103. Clear the snorkel
  104. Club the cucumber
  105. Cock blockin
  106. Cock pulling
  107. Cock smack
  108. Cock snot
  109. Come to daddy
  110. Corralling the tadpoles
  111. Crank it
  112. Crank one out
  113. Crank the cable
  114. Crank the crane
  115. Crank the gear
  116. Crank the one-eyed yogurt thrower
  117. Cream the cake
  118. Croke the frog
  119. Crown the bishop
  120. Cruzin’ then Oozin’
  121. Cuff the carrot
  122. Cuff the carrot
  123. Cuff the monkey
  124. Cum and go
  125. Cum on self
  126. Cum on your tum
  127. Cum-lets-play
  128. Curl the honey
  129. Daily duties
  130. Dancing around the maypole
  131. Dancing with Mother Knuckle and her five daughters
  132. Dancing with the one eye sailor
  133. Dangle the Donkey
  134. Date Palmela Handerson
  135. Date Paula and her 4 sisters
  136. Date Rosie Palmer and her five sisters
  137. Date with Rosie bone and her five sisters
  138. Deal cards
  139. Deload the gun
  140. Despunk
  141. Destroying the slots machine
  142. Diddle your bob
  143. Do a load by hand.
  144. Do Mary Palm and her 5 sisters
  145. Do shoupa shoupa
  146. Do the dishes
  147. Do the janitor thing
  148. Do the Johnson and ball dance
  149. Do yourself
  150. Dog off
  151. Doing the Palm sisters
  152. Dong around
  153. Donkey punch
  154. Double Clicking The mouse
  155. Dr. Spankenstein Time
  156. Drain the dragon
  157. Drain the lizard
  158. Drain the pipes
  159. Drain the snake
  160. Drain the vein
  161. Drill for oil
  162. Drop a load before work.
  163. Drop the chalupa
  164. Drop the kids off at the pool.
  165. Duke your Jim
  166. Eat the egg
  167. Empty the banana
  168. Empty the pipes
  169. Empty your gunbarrel
  170. Erupt old faithful
  171. Erupt the volcano
  172. Exhaust the camel
  173. Exorcise your demons
  174. Extra long shower
  175. Fake fuckin’
  176. Favorite household activity
  177. Feed the donkey
  178. Feeding the chickens
  179. Feel it up
  180. Fiddle the ferret
  181. Fight one-eyed Willy
  182. Fight the one eyed purple warrior
  183. Fight the one-eyed monster
  184. Fight the purple helmet warrior
  185. Fight with Tarzan
  186. Fill up your belly-button
  187. Fire out the hole
  188. Fire the cannon
  189. Fire the flesh musket
  190. Fire the pistol
  191. Fire the surgeon general
  192. Firing a shot from the grassy knoll
  193. Fist fucking
  194. Fist rocket
  195. Fist-humpin.
  196. Fisting
  197. Fisting your cock
  198. Five against one
  199. Five finger disco
  200. Five finger shuffle
  201. Five fingered widow
  202. Five knuckle shuffle
  203. Five on one
  204. Five versus Willy
  205. Five-fingered humpty hump love pump
  206. Five-fingered wife
  207. Fix the clogged drain
  208. Flick your dick
  209. Fling the pudding
  210. Flog the Bishop
  211. Flog the doggie
  212. Flog the dolphin
  213. Flog the dummy
  214. Flog the hog
  215. Flog the log
  216. Flog the man
  217. Flog the mule
  218. Flog the one eyed gopher
  219. Flog the ore
  220. Flog the sailor
  221. Flog your log
  222. Flogging
  223. Fly solo
  224. Fondle the dolphin
  225. Fondle the frankfurter
  226. Fondle the sausage
  227. Foreskin mambo
  228. Frag your snag
  229. Free the captive ninja
  230. Free Willy
  231. Freshen the air
  232. Friction burn
  233. Frighten the blue veined custard chucker
  234. Fry the chicken
  235. Fry the egg
  236. Fuck the chicken
  237. Fuck the udder
  238. Fuck your cock
  239. Fuck your fist
  240. Fuck your hand
  241. Fuck yourself
  242. Fucking for one
  243. Fucking mother thumb and her 4 daughters
  244. Fumble your frank
  245. Get a handle on things
  246. Get a hold of yourself
  247. Get off
  248. Get some me time
  249. Get sticky
  250. Get the job done
  251. Get to know yourself
  252. Give the dog a bone
  253. Give the dog a walk
  254. Giving Kojak the third degree
  255. Giving yourself a helping hand
  256. Go and have a slap
  257. Go at it
  258. Go blind
  259. Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork
  260. Go for a spoof
  261. Go nut
  262. Grab the gusto
  263. Grab the handle
  264. Grab the meat
  265. Grapple the gorilla
  266. Grease the Pole
  267. Grease the rod
  268. Grease the wheel
  269. Great thoughts
  270. Greet Mr. Happy
  271. Greet the bishop
  272. Greeting Madam Palm and her 5 lovely daughters
  273. Grind the gopher
  274. Grind the groundhog
  275. Groom the Wookie
  276. Ham shank
  277. Hammer the lumber
  278. Hammer the helmet head
  279. Hand fuck
  280. Hand happy
  281. Hand hold
  282. Hand humpin’
  283. Hand jive
  284. Hand sex
  285. Hand shandy
  286. Hand Start the Yogurt Shooter
  287. Hand to Gland combat
  288. Hand to gland combat
  289. Hand, dick co-ordination
  290. Handle the merchandise
  291. Handy sandy
  292. Handy Shandy
  293. Hans Solo
  294. Harass the milkman
  295. Have a Barclays (Barclays Bank — WANK - rhyming slang)
  296. Have a chug
  297. Have a frapp
  298. Have a tug
  299. Have a tug of war with Cyclops
  300. Have a wank
  301. Have fun
  302. Have sex with someone you love
  303. High-five Yule Brenner
  304. Hip the hop
  305. Hit the mitt
  306. Hitch-hike to heaven
  307. Hold the knob
  308. Hold the man
  309. Hold your baseball bat
  310. Hold your sausage hostage
  311. Home alone
  312. Homework
  313. Hone the bone
  314. Hump the hand
  315. Hump the Hebrew
  316. Hump the knob
  317. Hump the matress
  318. Idle hands
  319. Impregnate the air
  320. Increase the surface temperature of the ship’s primary cannon using rapid linear motion
  321. Inside Slider with two balls
  322. Interrogate the prisoner
  323. Interrogate the witness
  324. Introduce Mr. Penis to Mrss Palm and her five lovely daughters
  325. Jack off
  326. Jack the beanstock
  327. Jack the frank
  328. Jack yo mac
  329. Jedi train in the bathroom
  330. Jerk and clean
  331. Jerk around
  332. Jerk it
  333. Jerk off
  334. Jerk pud
  335. Jerk the beef
  336. Jerk the chain
  337. Jerk the cum
  338. Jerk the general
  339. Jerk the Johnson
  340. Jerk the monkey
  341. Jerk the one-eyed snake
  342. Jerk the pet
  343. Jerk you shit
  344. Jerk your chain
  345. Jerk your gherkin
  346. Jerkin’ the gherkin
  347. Jingle the Pringles
  348. Jingle your bone
  349. Jizsturbation
  350. Jock the sock
  351. Jog the joker
  352. Josh one off
  353. Juggle the balls
  354. Jump the pogo stick
  355. Just getting dressed
  356. Just going up to the office to use the photocopier
  357. Just gonna go lay down and take a nap…
  358. Just gonna go take a bath…
  359. Just need a little time with my e-mail, that’s all…
  360. Keepin’ the mortar clean
  361. Kill the gentleman
  362. Kill the Mr. Tingley
  363. Kneading the bread
  364. Knob thumping
  365. Knock one off
  366. Knock one off
  367. Knock the rock
  368. Knuckle shuffle
  369. Launch the hand shuttle
  370. Launch the rocket
  371. Lead pedro down the road of bulimia
  372. Leak the lizard
  373. Let Elvis leave the building
  374. Let loose the juice
  375. Lift your spirit
  376. Lighting the Roman Candle
  377. Liquidate inventory
  378. Log off
  379. Log the lumber
  380. Lollygagging
  381. Lope the mule
  382. Lope the mule
  383. Love yourself
  384. Lube the tube
  385. Lubricate the Lutheran
  386. Magic your Johnson
  387. Make a deposit
  388. Make cream
  389. Make friends with the lizard
  390. Make instant icing
  391. Make it spit
  392. Make it useful
  393. Make junior vomit
  394. Make love to Miss Michigan
  395. Make one on one love
  396. Make one-eye cry
  397. Make Peter puke
  398. Make stomach pancakes
  399. Make the bald guy puke
  400. Make the bald guy puke
  401. Make the Cyclops cry
  402. Make the Cyclops fight the 5 headed monster
  403. Make the Cyclops spit
  404. Make the funny juice flow
  405. Make the one eyed monster puke
  406. Make the privates stand at attention, then fall in
  407. Make the snake puke
  408. Make your own hand lotion
  409. Makin babies
  410. Mangle the moose
  411. Manipulate your manhood
  412. Marry the moose
  413. Massage my palm
  414. Massage my stiff joint
  415. Massage out the stiffness
  416. Massage the salami
  417. Massage the soul
  418. Massage your balls
  419. Massage your clovers
  420. Meat off
  421. Meat-Beat
  422. Meet Mother Palm and her five daughters
  423. Meet the neighbors
  424. Meet the President
  425. Milk it
  426. Milk Murray
  427. Milk the beef
  428. Milk the cock
  429. Milk the cow
  430. Milk the goat
  431. Milk the hose
  432. Milk the lizard
  433. Milk the Magnesia
  434. Milk the Mickey
  435. Milk the one eyed trouser snake
  436. Milk the one-eyed snake
  437. Milk the one-uttered cow
  438. Milk your meat
  439. Milk yourself
  440. Molest the bystander
  441. Money comes out
  442. Monkey dance
  443. Move the joystick
  444. Mr. Happy and his five friends have a party.
  445. Mrs. palmer and her 5 daughters
  446. My Wife
  447. Nuke the whale
  448. Number 3
  449. Oil the barber pole
  450. Oil the barrel
  451. Oil the Crank
  452. Oil the noodle
  453. One hand work out
  454. One handed pole vault
  455. One man and a hand
  456. One man show
  457. Our Gang Spanky Marathon
  458. Paddling the pony
  459. Paint Pontius Pilate’s Palace
  460. Paint the ceiling
  461. Paint the wall
  462. Palm loving
  463. Pamela Handerson
  464. Pan for white gold
  465. Party for one
  466. Pat the monkey
  467. Pat the Robertson
  468. Pay bills
  469. Pay the pope
  470. Peel the banana
  471. Peel the carrot
  472. Peeling chilies
  473. Pet the bald eagle
  474. Pet the donkey
  475. Pet the ghurkin
  476. Pet the one eyed monster
  477. Pet the one eyed snake
  478. Pet the one-eyed gopher
  479. Pet the potato
  480. Pet the snake
  481. Pet the Willy
  482. Pet your third leg
  483. Pickle your peter
  484. Pimp pump
  485. Piston pushing
  486. Play a solo on my private organ
  487. Play ball with the boys
  488. Play five on one
  489. Play golf
  490. Play peek-a-boo alone
  491. Play pocket pool
  492. Play skin Banjo
  493. Play solitaire
  494. Play the bag pipe
  495. Play the meat pipe
  496. Play the skin flute
  497. Play tug of war with Cyclops
  498. Play with Burt Reynolds mustache
  499. Play with Fistina
  500. Play with Fred
  501. Play with lil’ Elvis
  502. Play with Mr. Panky
  503. Play with myself
  504. Play with Peter
  505. Play with Pikachu
  506. Play with Rosey Palm
  507. Play with the pud
  508. Play with the purple headed yogurt slinger
  509. Play with Wally
  510. Play with Willy the wonder worm
  511. Play with your cock and balls
  512. Play with yourself
  513. Play your guitar
  514. Play Zelda
  515. Pluck the ducky
  516. Pluck the mushroom
  517. Pocket billiards
  518. Pocket fishing
  519. Pocket pool
  520. Polish Lord Helmet
  521. Polish the baton
  522. Polish the bishop
  1. Polish the candlestick
  2. Polish the dolphin
  3. Polish the helmet
  4. Polish the knob
  5. Polish the Ol’ Torpedo
  6. Polish the one eyed gopher
  7. Polish the one eyed weasel
  8. Polish the Papal Podium
  9. Polish the pewter
  10. Polish the piston
  11. Polish the pope
  12. Polish the shaft
  13. Polish the silver
  14. Polish the sword of happiness
  15. Polish the torpedo
  16. Polish your Oscar
  17. Polish your pipe
  18. Polish your rocket
  19. Polish your whistle
  20. Polishing the periscope
  21. Pop the head
  22. Pop the pistol
  23. Pop the top off the Champaign bottle
  24. Portuguese pump
  25. Pound off
  26. Pound the flounder
  27. Pound the hammer
  28. Pound the pony
  29. Pound the pud
  30. Powder your nose
  31. Prime the pump handle
  32. Prune the shroom
  33. Pud pulling
  34. Pud whacking
  35. Puddin’
  36. Pull a quickie
  37. Pull and squirt
  38. Pull dinky
  39. Pull it
  40. Pull it hard
  41. Pull Nixon’s nose
  42. Pull off
  43. Pull one off
  44. Pull one out of the bag…
  45. Pull pud
  46. Pull Stretch Armstrong
  47. Pull the chain
  48. Pull the cord
  49. Pull the dog’s tail
  50. Pull the fun lever
  51. Pull the goalie
  52. Pull the meat
  53. Pull the noodle
  54. Pull the pickle
  55. Pull the pig
  56. Pull the pipe
  57. Pull the plowman
  58. Pull the Polish pork
  59. Pull the pork
  60. Pull the turkey
  61. Pull your plumb
  62. Pull your pud
  63. Pull your toy
  64. Pull your wire
  65. Pulling your Yankee Doodle
  66. Pump
  67. Pump jacks
  68. Pump mini me
  69. Pump sperm
  70. Pump the balls
  71. Pump the Pole
  72. Pump the watergun
  73. Pump your gun
  74. Pump your pud
  75. Pump’n the water rocket
  76. Punch the clown
  77. Punch the eclair
  78. Punch the monkey
  79. Punch the munchkin
  80. Punish Percy in the palm
  81. Punish the evil merchant
  82. Puppy whacking
  83. Pushing the envelope
  84. Put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college
  85. Putting Mayonnaise On The Garlic Bread
  86. Ram the rod
  87. Rattle the one eyed snake
  88. Ream the one eyed semen demon
  89. Release some steam
  90. Release the hounds
  91. Release the pressure
  92. Release the valves
  93. Relieve your sperm bank
  94. Relieving a little tension
  95. Relish up the hot dog
  96. Remove the rust
  97. Ricky Wrestling
  98. Ride the big dipper
  99. Ride The Dolphin
  100. Ride the rod
  101. Ride to heaven
  102. Ring your cock
  103. Rinse on
  104. Rocketing
  105. Rod yankin
  106. Roll dice
  107. Rolling the dough
  108. Rope the mule
  109. Rope your goat
  110. Rough up the little man
  111. Rough up the suspect
  112. Row the boat
  113. Rub a dub dub
  114. Rub it silly
  115. Rub one off
  116. Rub one out
  117. Rub the button
  118. Rub the faucet
  119. Rub the fireman’s helmet
  120. Rub the knob!
  121. Rub the magic lamp
  122. Rub the pipe
  123. Rub the rhubarb
  124. Rub the rod
  125. Rub the sausage
  126. Rub the tool
  127. Rub your monkey
  128. Rub your nub
  129. Rubadubdub
  130. Run off a batch
  131. Salute the flag pole
  132. Salute the general
  133. Salute the scumlord
  134. Sausage stroking
  135. Say hello to Mr. Happy
  136. Say hello to the colonel of love
  137. Say hi to your monster
  138. Scramble the sausage
  139. Scrub the deck
  140. Self deflation
  141. Self diddle
  142. Self fuck
  143. Self fucking
  144. Self gratification
  145. Self indulgence
  146. Self motivation
  147. Self service
  148. Self sex
  149. Self-satisfaction
  150. Self-suck
  151. Sex with da hands
  152. Sex with Simon
  153. Shag your shank
  154. Shag-yer-self
  155. Shake hands w/the unemployed
  156. Shake hands with a pole
  157. Shake hands with Abraham Lincoln
  158. Shake hands with Ben Franklin
  159. Shake hands with Elvis
  160. Shake hands with Mr Peeper
  161. Shake hands with the ambassador of love
  162. Shake hands with the devil
  163. Shake hands with the governor
  164. Shake hands with the one eyed milk man
  165. Shake hands with the president
  166. Shake hands with the sheriff
  167. Shake hands with the unemployed
  168. Shake hands with the wife’s wedding present
  169. Shake hot, white coconuts from the veiny love tree
  170. Shake it
  171. Shake my finger
  172. Shake off
  173. Shake the bottle
  174. Shake the goo off
  175. Shake the grapes
  176. Shake the old man
  177. Shake the pepperpot
  178. Shake the snake
  179. Shake the snake
  180. Shake with the tall guy
  181. Shake your fist angrily at your ex-girlfriend
  182. Shake your martini
  183. Shakin’ the bacon
  184. Shaking hand with Colonel Sanders
  185. Shampoo the carpet
  186. Shampoo the moose
  187. Sharpen the pencil
  188. Shift with the manual transmission
  189. Shine the bishop
  190. Shine the car
  191. Shine the helmet
  192. Shine the pole
  193. Shine the spear
  194. Shine the telescope
  195. Shine the wood
  196. Shine your salami
  197. Shock the monkey
  198. Shoot for pearls
  199. Shoot hoops
  200. Shoot old yeller
  201. Shoot putty at the moon
  202. Shoot putty at the moon
  203. Shoot the gun
  204. Shoot the plane
  205. Short-arm stroking
  206. Shroom pullin’
  207. Shuck the corn cob
  208. Shuck the cornstalk
  209. Sin dirty with thy self
  210. Siphon the python
  211. Skin the sarge
  212. Skin the sausage
  213. Skin your frank
  214. Slam the ham
  215. Slam the stick
  216. Slap little Johnny behind the German helmet
  217. Slap spanky
  218. Slap the bishop
  219. Slap the carrot
  220. Slap the dick
  221. Slap the dummy
  222. Slap the ham
  223. Slap the salami
  224. Slap the salmon
  225. Slap the sausage
  226. Slap the stick
  227. Slap you cock
  228. Slay the dragon
  229. Slick the stick
  230. Slime the salamy
  231. slippery
  232. slippin’ salami
  233. slipping
  234. Slobbin’ the Milosevich
  235. Smack
  236. Smack baldy on the head
  237. Smack my pud
  238. Smack off
  239. Smack the burrito
  240. Smack the salami
  241. Smack your monkey
  242. Smelly jelly making
  243. Smoke the turkey
  244. Sneak a wink at wiggly
  245. Sock the cock
  246. Solo serve
  247. Spank frank
  248. Spank frank
  249. Spank it
  250. Spank it
  251. Spank Milo
  252. Spank off
  253. Spank one
  254. Spank that ass
  255. Spank the chicken
  256. Spank the dolphin
  257. Spank the hotdog
  258. Spank the money
  259. Spank the monkey
  260. Spank the old lady
  261. Spank the pup
  262. Spank the sausage
  263. Spank the Spam
  264. Spank your love life
  265. Spank your monkey
  266. Spank your pud
  267. Spanktervision
  268. Spanky’s Revenge
  269. Speed shifting
  270. Spend time with an old friend
  271. Spewin’ a white one
  272. Spill milk
  273. Spin the dreidel
  274. Spit da’ sperm
  275. Spit shine the knob
  276. Splish Splah
  277. Sploshing
  278. Sporting the tent
  279. Spraying the belly with sticky white love-piss
  280. Spunk the monkey
  281. Spunk up
  282. Squeeze a few rounds off on the pump action shotgun
  283. Squeeze cheese
  284. Squeeze off a load
  285. Squeeze one off
  286. Squeeze the big guy
  287. Squeeze the Charmin
  288. Squeeze the Cyclops
  289. Squeeze the duck’s head
  290. Squeeze the juice out the head
  291. Squeeze the lemon
  292. Squeeze the sausage
  293. Squeeze the squid
  294. Squeeze the tomato
  295. Squeeze the Twinkie
  296. Squeeze you lizard
  297. Squirt the Bert
  298. Squish the squid
  299. Stain the mitt
  300. Start the engine
  301. Start the lawnmower
  302. Stick it
  303. Stick shifting
  304. Stock
  305. Stoke the Strokin’ stack
  306. Strangle the bishop
  307. Strangle the one-eyed trouser snake
  308. Strangle the snake
  309. Strangle the snake
  310. Strangle the warrior
  311. Stress reliever
  312. Stretch it
  313. Stretch one out
  314. Stretch the salami
  315. Stretching the truth
  316. Strike oil
  317. Strip the bark
  318. Stroke
  319. Stroke it
  320. Stroke off
  321. Stroke that big thing
  322. Stroke the chicken
  323. Stroke the choad
  324. Stroke the cock
  325. stroke the crank
  326. Stroke the ding-dong
  327. Stroke the dolphin
  328. Stroke the donkey
  329. Stroke the longhorn
  330. Stroke the manroot
  331. Stroke the monkey
  332. Stroke the mushroom
  333. Stroke the oar
  334. stroke the one-eyed snake
  335. Stroke the poke
  336. Stroke the puppy
  337. Stroke the salami
  338. Stroke the salami
  339. Stroke the schlong
  340. Stroke the shaft
  341. Stroke the slug
  342. Stroke the Snake
  343. Stroke the stick
  344. Stroke the strudel
  345. Stroke the stump
  346. Stroke the weasel
  347. Stroke the yoke
  348. Stroke your cock
  349. Stroking the dog
  350. Stroking the fireman
  351. Stroking the flagpole
  352. Struggle for life
  353. Strum the drum
  354. Strum your guitar
  355. Summon the jizz
  356. Swat off
  357. Swing the balls
  358. Swing the thing
  359. Tackling the totem
  360. Take a load off
  361. Take a ride on the slip n’ slide
  362. Take a squirt
  363. Take batting practice
  364. Take Capt Solo on the Kessel Run
  365. Take Captain Picard to Warp Speed
  366. Take care of a big problem
  367. Take care of business
  368. Take matters in hand
  369. Take the edge off
  370. Take the sausage hostage
  371. Take your banana boat to tuna town
  372. Tame the beast
  373. Tame the one eyed spitting snake
  374. Tame the shrew
  375. Tame the vein
  376. Taming the purple headed warrior
  377. Tantalizing your toboggan
  378. Tap a teste
  379. Teach the dog a lesson
  380. Teach the monkey
  381. Tease the weasel
  382. Tease to please
  383. Teasing one out
  384. Tenderize the meat
  385. Tenderize the pork
  386. Tenderize the steak
  387. Test the probe
  388. Test the purple headed yogurt thrower
  389. Thawing the meat
  390. The gentle handshake
  391. The ol’ 5 against 1
  392. The penis pull
  393. The right hand maneuver
  394. The sofa
  395. The twist
  396. Thelma Thumb and her four sisters
  397. Think of your mom
  398. Thump the stump
  399. Thumping the stump
  400. Tickle the angus
  401. Tickle the meat curtains
  402. Tickle the peter
  403. Tickle the pickle
  404. Tickle the tentacle
  405. Tickle the tiger
  406. Tip the hat
  407. Tommy Tank
  408. Toot the horn
  409. Torture little Timmy
  410. Torture the monkey
  411. Toss off
  412. Toss the salad
  413. Touch the toucher
  414. Touch yourself
  415. Train the chicken
  416. Train the purple-headed warrior
  417. Tug the handle
  418. Tug the tassel
  419. Tug the turkey
  420. Tug your rope
  421. Tugging the boat
  422. Tug-O-War With Cyclops
  423. Turn Japanese
  424. Tweak your tool.
  425. Twiddle the bone flute
  426. Ugly Man Sex
  427. Unisex
  428. Unleashing
  429. Unload your gun
  430. Unsheathe the meat sword
  431. Up and down
  432. Use the joystick
  433. Vex the vicar
  434. Vice grip
  435. Virgin Love
  436. Visit the petting zoo
  437. Vote Republican
  438. Wag it
  439. Wag the dog
  440. Walk the dog
  441. Wang chungin
  442. Wang off
  443. Wank
  444. Wank and crank
  445. Wank it
  446. Wank off
  447. Wank the monkey
  448. Wank the pud
  449. Wank the sock
  450. Wank the wanker
  451. Wank the willy
  452. Wank your shank
  453. Wankin and spankin
  454. Wanky panky
  455. Wash the Buick
  456. Wash the rod
  457. Watch some pooh
  458. Wax the Bat
  459. Wax the bishop
  460. Wax the carrot
  461. Wax the chrome
  462. Wax the dolphin
  463. Wax the flagpole
  464. Wax the frog
  465. Wax the ol’ Torpedo
  466. Wax the pole
  467. Wax the weasel
  468. Wax the willie
  469. Wax the Winnebago
  470. Weenie whacking
  471. Wet the whistle
  472. Whack it
  473. Whack jack
  474. Whack off
  475. Whack off like a red-headed stepchild
  476. Whack the Chalupa
  477. Whack the pole
  478. Whack the pud
  479. Whack the rod
  480. Whack the weasel
  481. Whack the wizard
  482. Whack the wood
  483. Whack your wack
  484. Whackin winky
  485. Whacking it
  486. Wham the bone
  487. Wheel it
  488. Whip it
  489. Whip pud
  490. Whip the noodle
  491. Whip the weenie
  492. Whip up some baby batter.
  493. Whippin’ cream
  494. Whipping’ it good
  495. Whipping the skippy
  496. White Water Wristing
  497. White water wristing
  498. Whittle the wood
  499. Whoop the mule
  500. Whoop your pudd
  501. Wind up the cock clock
  502. Wind your sun dial
  503. Windsurf on Mt. Baldy
  504. Withdraw from the spankbank
  505. Work out the third leg
  506. Workin’ it
  507. Working the wiligger
  508. Wrestle the bald head champion
  509. Wrestle the champ
  510. Wrestle the turkey
  511. Wrestle with Jimmy
  512. Wrestle with the one eyed champ
  513. Wrestle with the one-eyed monster
  514. Wrestle with the one-eyed-trouser snake
  515. Yank off
  516. Yank the chain
  517. Yank the crank
  518. Yank the dog
  519. Yank the plank
  520. Yank the sausage
  521. Yank the Yankee
  522. Yankie the Wankie
  523. Yolk the egg

1 Comment to Tells > 1045 Ways to Reference Masturbation.

BS BS
04/06

I updated it to 2 columns to fix an annoying page display glitch, it’s much more readable this way anyways.

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