A Smartass Education

How Smartass Programmers Function @ Parties

public NightTimeCompanion PartyEvent(string[] friendConnection)
{
foreach (string friend in friendConnection)
{
try
{
using (Connection FriendsHotFriend = new Connection(FriendConnection[friend]))
{
using (Command HookUpAttempt = new Command(FriendsHotFriend))
{
string OpeningLine = “”;
Random ChanceOfGoodLine = new Random();
if (ChanceOfGoodLine % 4 == 0)
OpeningLine = RandomOpener();
else
OpeningLine = “SELECT ‘Hey Baby’; DROP TargetsCloths;”;

HookUpAttempt.CommandText = OpeningLine;

SqlDataReader Conversation = HookUpAttempt.ExecuteReader();

int WhereYouStand = 0;

while (Conversation.Read())
{
switch (Conversation.Line)
{
case Exchange.Cute:
WhereYouStand += 0;
break;
case Exchange.Meaningful:
WhereYouStand += 1;
break;
case Exchange.StarTrek:
throw new StarTrekException();
break;
case Exchange.Sexy:
WhereYouStand += 2;
break;
case Exchage.Bad:
WhereYouStand -= 2;
break;
case Exchage.Mean:
WhereYouStand -= 5;
break;
case Exchange.Boring:
WhereYouStand -= 20;
break;
case Exchange.Stalkerish:
WhereYouStand -= 500;
break;
case Exchange.Dirty:
return (NightTimeCompanion)HookUpAttempt;
break;
default:
WhereYouStand += 0;

}
}

if (WhereYouStand > 30)
{
BlackBook.Add(HookUpAttempt);
}
if (WhereYouStand > 50)
{
if (!HookUpAttempt.IsHot)
BlackBook.Remove(HookUpAttempt);
return (NightTimeCompanion)HookUpAttempt;
}
}
}

}
catch (StarTrekException Ex)
{
Console.Write(”Did that come out of my mouth…”);
continueConversation();
}
catch (StarWarsException EX)
{
Console.Write(”Well the explosions reminded me of while I was working on a rig in Alaska…”);
continueConversation();
}
}
}

Author: Punk-Coder
Original Source: A comment from - What does the hot girl at the party think of your programming language?

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