Seriously, I think my creative writing skills have scabbed over this year. I mean it isn’t very hard to come up with something that happens every day and turn it into something slightly funny. Yet I am not keeping up with my posts.

..::Sigh::..

Ok, how about I go back a couple days and write about how my sister and company took me down to the Inferno (local goth dance club). However if I did that, you might be freaked out to hear that my sister was checking out “Buffalo Bill”, and how I had to forcefully prevent her from going out to dance with him (she had nicknamed him “jerky”), for fear for her life (“it puts the lotion in the basket”).

Well, that wouldn’t be any fun as a post. Hmm, I could tell about shit on my website, but alas the only thing going on here is a bunch of people posting not-so-great questions on my ask-a-smartass page who don’t really understand why I call it ask a SMARTASS. Also if I were to mention this, some people who read this blog who also post bad questions, would get offended. Of course, I would never want that…

I suppose I could write a post about all the great books I am reading, however I am not reading any great books so I would just end up making up my own content and convincing you that it was a notable author so that you buy into it…. But that would take to much effort.

I could tell you about the documentary I watched the other night. It’s all about 1 joke that comedians tell to each other. The point of the joke is it has a beginning and and a punchline, and everybody is supposed to change the middle to suit their personal disturbing tastes.

Here’s the joke: This guy goes into a talent booking agency and says, boy do I have an act for you. The talent agent says ok, what do you do? Alright it’s a family act and first we… [Insert Most Vile, Disgusting, Horrific, Boundry Pushing, Comfort Zone Destroying Garbage you can think of at the time of the joke telling here]. Wow, that’s pretty crazy, what do you call that act? We’re the Aristocrats!

However, you probably wouldn’t get or appreciate hearing about that, so that’s out of the question. I certainly can’t tell you about that.

I could tell how my 300 dollar Ipod Video told me to go Fuck Myself, but I haven’t punished it yet so that would hardly be long enough to fill an entire post.

I could tell you how I cheated on my taxes, but since I didn’t intend to and was just in a hurry to file, that wouldn’t be a very shady story worth mentioning.

I might end up mentioning that the kid who bought my Prelude ended up being an idiot and spending $300 bucks to put the new headlights in, which to me is sad and hilarious all in one because after spending a bunch of time dismantling his car to install the lights, there was 2 ways to finish the job. 1) Break plastic bracket off of lights (aprox time: 5 mins) plug lights in, shim with new metal L bracket if support still needed (.42 cents at local store). or 2) Yank off radiator (aprox time 45 mins), install properly, reinstall everything. Hmm, neither method requires money, 0ne requires a little moxy, the other time. NEITHER REQUIRE 300 $$$.

That however is a sad story of a kid learning that he still has a lot to learn, which nobody really wants to hear about, least of all the one who needs the learning.

I could mention that I actually reinstalled trillian, so you can actually talk to me on whatever Instant Messenger you use, however the likelihood of me being on that often is slim, so I doubt that’s worth mentioning.

I think I will just end up writing a post that says something like “Go Fuck Yourselves”. My reason being that 1) I think it would get a chuckle from you 2) Then I am the bad guy and you will all feel better about yourselves 3) If you actually took the advice you would probably end up even happier and 4) It seems obvious that I really have nothing else to talk about!