Is Your Mother Dead?

Sunday, August 28th, 2005 | Uncategorized

So I get this paniced call from my father this afternoon. Now when he calls me I expect somebody to be sick, or dead. The conversation went something like this:
Dad: “Is your mother safe, has she evacuated the state yet?”
Me: “WTF are you talking about Dad?”
Dad: “There is a hurricane hitting Lousiana now, and they say it might destroy all of Lousiana!”
Me: “WHAT are you talking about?”
Dad: “If Your Mother hasn’t evacuated she will probably get killed”
Me: “You are exagerating, I’m sure she’s fine”
Dad: “You don’t Understand!”, “This is a class 5 Hurricane, they say it will probably flood all of New Orleans!”
Me: “Even if it does, she doesn’t live in New Orleans”
Dad: “(insert some smarter than me bullshit here)”
Me: “They get floods and hurricanes all the time, she’ll be fine”
Dad: “THIS IS A CLASS 5 (blah blah blah), you had better check on your mother right away”
Me: “(Humoring him at this point) Fine”
Dad: “(Insert some more paniced bullshit that i forget here)”
Me: “Fine, I’ll make sure she’s ok”
Dad: “Otherwise is everything going well?”
Me: “Yep”
Dad: “I hear from Grandma, who heard from Beth that you are really busy and things are going really fast for you”
Me: “Yep”
Dad: “So the job and everything is going well then?”
Me: “Yep”
Dad: “(Blah Blah Blah)”
Me: “Yep, look I gotta go, and don’t worry about it my mother is fine”
Dad: “(Blah Blah Blah) Ok, talk to you later, bye”

1 hour or so later, I call my Mother to tell her how concerned for her life Dad had been. My stepdad answered the phone and told me that they didn’t have any rain, or wind or anything. I talked to my Mom then and informed her of her impending doom. She said that people in her area weren’t leaving at all since they were not at all in the danger path.

Look, I know that Lousiana is below sea level, and that it was designed by idiots (see: Top Reasons 10 why I Hate Lousiana), and that weather is not completly predictable. However I think my father was really over reacting. I mean it’s great that he was actually concerned, but I am sick of getting these phone calls where he is freaking out about something.

I think he rehearses the lines he will tell me first to strike up the most panic or paranoia when I answer my phone. Like this one time when the first thing he said was “Are you somewhere private?, Can you call me back on a secure line?” (me) “Ah, no, What am I the fucking CIA???”

Anyways that is my excitement for today. I was going to make the oldest blog entries first, but I wanted the conversation to be still fresh in mind. I am going to bed now, and will probably fill in the rest sometime tomorrow, and perhaps even add a funny picture to this post ;)

UPDATE:
Still to lazy to make picture a physical picture, so I thought I would just design it in my head and insert it directly into your brain…… Here is a description:

(in the style of most of my original pictures) Katrina (AKA: Big mama hurricane, currently taking a dump on New Orleans) + Breaking Wind / Toilets & Taking Names (Bad Cajun Food / Garlic Bread at Local Dive) = My Mom (With a circle around her, and a line crossing her out)

               

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