Proof of Monkey

Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 | Life, Stolen

So I have been searching the net now to find a longer definition of Monkey as it relates to the Chinese Zodiac. I found tons of short ones and those all described me to a T, so I wanted to find a very thorough one and see how accurate it was.

Metal Monkey
No task is too great for the clever Monkeys. They master most anything. They have extremely charming manners that draw others. Monkeys solve difficult problems with ease. They are quick-witted, innovative, and they have total and intense belief in themselves. No one delights in their own accomplishments like the Monkeys. Enjoying themselves immensely, they try anything at least once! Monkeys are intellectual and their memory is phenomenal. They recall the smallest details of everything they have seen,read, and heard. They must depend on that memory since they have an otherwise untidy mind. Monkeys are wizards with money. They are original, shrewd, and when they need to, they can fool anyone.There are a hundred and one fantastic schemes they want to try, and you can bet they make some of them work. Even when they take you in, it is hard to be angry with them, or begrudge them anything. They don’t care what opinions others have of them. They know they are lucky, and they also know they have the ability to change things when convenience calls. Monkeys are virtually unsinkable! When the odds are stacked against them, Monkeys know when to quit. Their timing is superb, and they will wait to try another time. If you try to trick Monkeys, they will probably catch you. They are great strategists. They can spot an opportunity in any form. They never miss a trick!

Monkeys are hard workers once they have a piece of the action. The bigger the piece, the better they do. Monkeys like to travel, and they want to do it first class.They need a certain amount of excitement in their lives.

Since Monkeys get what they want without too much trouble, they may not care about all their conquests. They lose interest quickly and must learn to finish what they start and take care of what they have. People always flock around Monkeys, but Monkeys don’t trust very much. They know a select group of friends that they choose carefully. Money is a must for Monkeys, and they usually have it, or will be in the process of getting it.They know nothing is permanent. They improve and try to do better, and often amaze even themselves. Monkeys like facts and they hate to waste time. Always remember, Monkeys don’t care if you approve of them or not, and if not careful, you will be eating right out of their hands! They are the ultimate diplomats and slip in and out of difficulties with ease.

Monkeys must be careful in romance, although clear-sighted, they are very critical and lose interest in anyone they can’t consider their peer. They are vain and egotistical, but even that is to their advantage.

Monkeys are always out in front!

Now…. Please note, I did not write that. But damn does it ever describe me well. I found a bunch of other ones as well and they all seemed like they were describing me.

I like the theory that this really is accurate. That would mean that nurture AND nature are BOTH bullshit. I mean how great would it be if our personalities were not based on horrible parenting and traumatic embarrassments, but rather just on the stars in the sky!

               

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