Signs of the Apocalypse?

Sunday, November 26th, 2006 | Helpful, Smartass

Today I saw a couple of the first signs of the apocalypse. That’s right….. The Four pointy sign dancers of the apocalypse. As legend goes (as best I remember it) the Four pointy sign dancers will dance through the land spreading propaganda and scaring small children.

Well, that’s exactly what happened. I saw 4 scary looking people with horns (or perhaps they were headphones… I was driving) all with pointy signs trying to direct people to a location, where they could no doubt pillage and plunder their money. One of the scary pointy sign dancers even sat unaffected as a little girl started crying.

Then I stopped at a gas station to catch my breath. Surely it was a coincidence. I went into the gas station and saw 7 Garden Gnomes (or perhaps 8, but gas station workers are not the best to follow orders), AND there was trumpet music playing!!!!!!!~!!!! I mean have you EVER heard trumpet music playing in a gas station???? and by 7 (or so) Gnomes???

Surely you can all connect the dots. I mean before today I had been sick, perhaps from the diseases that are spreading through the land (or maybe from overwork and alcohol). I mean all we need now is for the avian flu to hit here and the 3rd world war will break out and were all doomed then.

And look at the chaos going on around me? Expensive car problems, missing ipod, work actually considering giving me 5 days off at end of the year, bad internet connection (which went down again AS I WAS WRITING THIS..) to which you are now screwed as to when I will be able to warn you about this pending doom as quickly.

Be weary people, The Apocalypse is Near

               

3 Comments to Signs of the Apocalypse?

Leave a comment