Mr. On the Rocks

Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 | Helpful

As a guy, there are times when you have bigger balls than brains. I of course being the good friend that I am… had to go to visit my friend Mark in the pissy little town of Milton. At this point he has become a “regular” at the bar within walking distance from his house. So we walked over there (DAMN WAS THAT COLD), and I had a couple beer’s while we were playing darts.

In Milton Amber Boch only costs $1!!!! However it was going down to quick. So after I won a game of darts I decided to switch drinks. So I asked for what I THOUGHT it was called. Little did I know the mass media had embedded more than one drink name in my brain and I was about to order the wrong drink….

I said I’ll take a Tanquerie on the rocks. All of a sudden the entire bar froze and turned to look at me. I didn’t understand the commotion, knowing I had had some of this on the rocks before at a different friends house a couple months earlier. Until I was given the drink that is…

Funny, I don’t recall it being clear… Why is it clear? Ah, perhaps because it’s pure Jin! Now I am not a Jin fan. I have only had it once, and that was enough. In fact I don’t think there is such thing as a Jin fan. Well now I had the attention of the entire town of Milton (give or take a few), so I wasn’t about to not drink it.

So I brass balled my way through it. I got a lot of questions like “does that taste like gasoline?”, to which I had no choice but to reply “yes… yes it does….”.

Well when I finally finished that off, some patrons down at the end of the bar thought that I should drink a slightly less aggressive drink… on the rocks…. So they bought me a Jim Beam Black. Now I don’t know what makes it black, but it is not a mixed drink either. Just the straight hooch.

So we left that bar (after my drat playing got considerable worse off for some reason), and though the original plan was to walk home when they closed which was at Midnight. Now we had a ride from somebody else to another bar.

So sure enough I get in there and another guy insists on buying me a drink. This time it was Jack. Well after that I was decidedly done, so I ordered some water… and then some more… and then some more…. you get the point. I just sat at the bar talking to a girl who was blatantly hitting on me while her boyfriend played darts with my friend (no it’s not my imagination this time, another guy made a comment to me something like “boy is she craving your cock, shit i’d stick it in ‘er”.

WHY, WHY do they all do that. Fucking pick a guy and stick with him or ditch him. I am always attracted to non-single women, and frankly… it’s crap. If they wouldn’t put out the signals, there would be no problems.

Well fuck it… Off to crash in Milton and go to Fort tomorrow. I figure my dad and grandmother probably wonder what happened to me since I haven’t seen them at all in 2006.

2 Comments to Mr. On the Rocks

ng66
March 8, 2006

“boy is she craving your cock, shit i’d stick it in ‘er”.

Wow.

They sure grow ‘em right over there in Milton, don’t they?

…And then, he spits brown goo into an old McDonald’s cup and gives you a good ol’ slap on the back… (I omitted the whoop, felt like overkill)

And that sounds pretty drunk. Have I ever seen you that drunk? Wait, it was only 2 beers, 3 shots? That’s not so bad. I’m sure I’ve seen you that drunk…

And as far as the signals, couldn’t tell you. Maybe for some women that’s the only way they know how to be. And, because you are the luckiest man alive, that kind of woman just happens to be the one that likes your pretty talk and big… words.