Disease is not your problem…

Friday, October 5th, 2007 | Helpful, Rants

Alone. It’s not a problem when you are used to it. So long as you just focus on something else, anything else, then it just becomes something that you are.

You cannot stay alone though, friends won’t let you, family won’t let you and most of all life won’t let you. Life isn’t about what you want, it’s about what other people want and how they will treat an accept you. If you are alone you will have nothing but your memories and fantasies, because all we really have is our memories. So you spend your time alone thinking about others. Experiences you have had with others, or ones you would like to have.

So you try to live for yourself, to not care about the circumstances of other people who have let their memories and fantasies become too dark. Yet you cannot escape it, because as soon as you escape it will come back. As you get older you meet more and more people, and make more and more friends. All of them have their own dark memories and dreams and though they may not want to drag you down with them they have no choice.

A life lesson I learned all at once one day in my youth: You can’t bottle up your problems and hope that they go away. They become all you subconsciously react to when similar situations occur. You need to have a way to release your shit and change your focus.

When you study the mind you find that altering one emotional memory simply by changing the perspective in the memory can cause you to act subconsciously change everything around you. That if you go and change say 5 emotional memories to be less intense that suddenly you can make it through your day without any problems because the things you associated with those memories are no longer stabbing you.

Yet even knowing the utter simplicity of how to change a life just by fucking with memories a little bit, still doesn’t make other people want to change. They will make rationalizations for all of life’s problems because they are too scared to change.

My father had electroshock therapy many years ago because no drug would work for him. He would get a new drug and would get 90% of all the symptoms and they became worse then the depression. So extreme situations call for extreme measures. Well funny story. A little electricity running through the pathways in the brain and he was a TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON for a few days. I mean they had simply weakened the paths of his shitty recent memories by intensifying other memories. He came back and sat down at the dinner table with us as if he always did that (he always ate in the living room). He went through the shit in his closet and said “Why are we keeping these? (to a box full of the cardboard things that fall out of magazines that he had been collecting just “in case” he needed one) and then he threw them away. He was scared because there were many things he couldn’t remember, but suddenly he was a good person that you would want to be around.

If you were to have tested him at that time you would be able to see that the chemicals and everything in his body would have changed. Not because of some drug that made it change, but simply because he forgot the negative crap that made him fucked up in the first place. Well electroshock is no great cure because as he kept going to the therapy he no longer lost any memories and instead just came back shaking because he built up a tolerance in the brain but not in the nervous system. The lesson however is the same. Life is what you focus on, and if you take a shitty perspective on the things that happen it will fester and eat away at your brain until you cannot remember what it is like to not feel shitty.

Disease is not your problem, it’s the effect of the shit you think and do. So own up to your own life and start thinking about better things, and looking at different perspectives on things that pain you. As soon as you start to feel shitty take a deep breath and then focus on ways to not feel that way.

               

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