Archives
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2009: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
2008: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
2007: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
2006: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
2005: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
April 2010
March 2010
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
- And on the 7th day, the server shall rest.
- RIP Poor Terabyte
- Napster 2.0 – The Pirate Bay
- Forgive and Forget
- Locked in Starbucks
- Drink all night, come home with more money.
June 2009
- I’ve got the loft
- How many calories in cigars and wine?
- Hired?
- The Place to Stay Solution?
- Pařba ve Vegas (The Hangover)
- The Reappearing Girl
- It’s all good…. Except the music at Starbucks
- Uber Good Hostel’s Prices to Double.
- The Empty Pocket Syndrome
- A 3 Hour Tour Leads to Drunken Debauchery
- James vs the Credit Card Phone Charges
- Day 8 – Buy My PC
- Day 7 – Good Wine
- Day 6 – Long Climb to Hand Jobs and Cheap Food
- Day 5 – Absinth Ice Cream
- Day 4 – $77 Local Phone Call
- Day 3 – Prague Castle & Monastery Beer
- Day 2
- Tricky Taxi – End of Day 1, start of Day 2
- Screwed in Prague – Day 1
May 2009
March 2009
- 45 Seconds Of My Time
- I have figured it out. The solution to all of life’s problems.
- Violinist in the Metro
- Learning Some of Everything
- TSA’s Priority List
- TSA Explains The Meaning of Life
February 2009
- Secret Snowy Mountains Dream
- Help create the ultimate social network Gr0wth.com!
- Gr0wth.com and the future of thesmartass
January 2009
December 2008
- Christmas… With 78 Mexicans
- Secret Firefox Bug Fix Helps Site
- Community Service on MySpace
- Stranger Than Fiction
November 2008
- Government Uses FedEx to Smuggle Contraband
- 260 New Pieces of Artwork
- Attacked By Terrorists
- Biggest Douche In The Universe 2008
- iTunes Ate my ID3 Tags
October 2008
- Über PC Named LSD
- Lucid Dream: Being Hunted 4 My Brain?
- Secretly Punched in the Nose
- Server Problems Compounded
- README: Fixed Issues (sort of)
- Site Running Badly
- Crime and Drama
September 2008
- Server Down for an hour or so.
- Weekend Slowdown Cause(s)
- Cheddar Bay Biscuits
- Is My Sister Trying To Tell Me Something? (spoiler: explosions ensue)
- Packers Vs. Vikings
- Absinthe and Cream Soda
- No Sleep, Due to No Alcohol?
- Some Olsen-Twins Action
August 2008
- Rearranged
- The Future of The Smartass
- My 555th Post on the Born Smartass!
- New Theater Launched!
- New Theater Launch Tonight (Seriously)
- Am I Right, Or Wrong… The World May End In 1234 Days.
- Fucking “Rockstars”
- Religious People Can’t Take A Joke!
- The Model That Loved Me (Not Quite Enough)
- Man does it suck to trip the fuck out and do it alone.
July 2008
- More Crap People Email Me!!
- Big Ass Blueberry and Chocolate Chip Muffins
- I Live in a Recording Studio
June 2008
- I Own A Daewoo :(
- My Car Debacle
- Gout, A Pain in the Foot
- Why NOT To Move To New Zealand
- The Crap people email me.
May 2008
- Spinning Dick Catastrophy!!!!
- Octopus Love
- My Shiny New Cook Islands License
- This IS a 1st Class Ticket
- TSA In Raratonga For Next 3 Days
- Goat Curry
- Magical New Radio
- Google loves me, this I know, for they cached my blog posts so!
- Fudged Up Databases
- Sleaze Prevention
- My RaNSomE Note From Customs
- 2 Lazy/Intoxicated To Write
- Bidding On New Vehicle
- Teaching American Basketball
- What’s a Furnace?
- You Asked 4 It…
- Coolest Pizza Website In History
- The Absinthe Down The Street
- NZ Prices Sucketh Ass
- Israel Psy/Trance Gods – Infected Mushroom
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
- Ever in my mind
- The randomness of a day
- I Need To Go The %$^& to Bed!
- A Relationship in Time
- My site is a smartass without me!
October 2007
- No job 4 u~!
- Memories and Change
- FYI: OiNK Is Gone
- Ab Imo Pectore
- The hardest 2 weeks of my life
- Disease is not your problem…
September 2007
- Do your elbows taste good? Mine do…
- My Roommate is an Asshole
- Working on making site more interactive
- Will fix the broken anime links tonight… (updated)
August 2007
- Fixed a ton of IE7 Bullshit with DivX Player
- Every Single Episode of Bleach Online in Rip-Off Theater!
- How many months does it take before I will go grocery shopping?
- Hacked The Hottub
- Added a few full anime series to Rip-Off Theater! (AKA – Watch Death Note or Die!!!!!)
- WooHoo – The Return of the Hottub
- Check out Full Length Section on Rip-Off Theater ASAP
July 2007
- Party All Night, Sleep All Day
- Damn You Cox!
- Sexy Magical Changes
- Not All Hummers Are Good Hummers!
- Saint Me Day
- Tales From Earthsea
- The Karate School Dream
- Ralaxed, Despite the Rining in Ears
- Good Stuff – AKA My Store Launches
- More Trailers on Rip-Off Theater Etc..
- New Artwork Week
- Caught up on Ask-a-Smartass!
- NEW NES Emulator, and other updates!
- ʎɐpoʇ uʍop ǝpısdn ƃuılǝǝɟ
- Too dumb for fast food!!!!!!!
- Continuing saga of the hotlinking assholes
- That Burning Sensation
- Disaronno Nights
- README.TXT
- New Design WILL Launch By The End of the Day
June 2007
- My Shiny New iPhone / Chick Magnet
- Waiting in Line @ 111 Degrees
- New design coming soon…
- Take That Hotlinking Asshole!!!!!!
- A friend is not an alarm clock
- Oops, did I break my main page for an entire day and not notice?
- 513 New SEGA Games Added~!
- That Really Bugs Me (Aka. Don’t Blink!)
- When relatives come to stay, the weekend goes away
- Nocked Up
- Off the Beeten Path, aka Buzz Off
- Lying for a Good Cause
May 2007
- Fixed some bugs in old browsers
- iPod Stolen
- Lizard, Lizard, Lizard
- Doubled the Nintendo Games
- Answered out, more to come soon.
- 5:20 – 5:20 sleep.
- Spending money
- Yeah! Ask-a-Smartass is back up and running!
- It slices, it dices, it makes julian fries?
- 2nd Snake in 1 week!
April 2007
- My First AZ Trail Snake (Now W/Hamster Power)
- Alcohol and Caffeine, The New Sleep Pills
- Damn You Cactus! pt. 2
- Happy Easter, Watch Southpark Here.
- The Best Money Clip Ever
- Why not to try shady sales techniques on me
- Sake To Me
- The 1 Hour Nap
- Heart Attack Grill and Tilted Kilt }; >~
March 2007
- Donchahateitwhencrapdrainsdownyourthroat?
- FYI; Fixed NES Load Issue
- God of War 2
- 300 and Beer
- Car paint down, window trim to go
- Workin’
- Tons-O-Changes (updated)
- Trust Inc.
February 2007
- Site backup restored? (Updated)
- The Number 23, and some other not really connected things
- Being Productive
- Wake Me Not (aka: LONG ass post)
January 2007
- Some Things
- Trapped in Texas
- Houston Detour
- Back to AZ
- My $254 Car Wash (with pics)
- Truck Stop Stories
- On Way To LA
- Time in WI
December 2006
- Another Year Rolls By
- Subconscious Driving
- Hitchhiker Stories
- Off to WI
- Christmas at 68 Degrees
- Black Liquorish Flavored Kleenex
- FYI: Xmas on Oink etc..
- Vista, Some slick new features…
- dontbea…
- Insomnia
- Skinny Woman Says: Suck My Lollypop and Get Skinny!
- The End
November 2006
- Signs of the Apocalypse?
- COX SUX
- Ipod Scare
- Google Was Wrong…
- No Creepy Old Guy, Don’t Touch My Ass!!!
- Can’t Get It Up?
- 1st wave of a future I predicted has come…
- My Mojo
- CIS
- Office Space “ReCut”
- I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bullshit.
- Popcorn: Don’t Piss It Off
- Ya See..
- What Happens In Vegas…
- Webmail Filtering
October 2006
- Any idea why my eyelid is freaking out?
- Another Day Burned
- Dance, Dance
- WooHoo, 11:59
- Expect New Site Launch, Today?
- 98 Lumina (SOLD)
- Marijuana Delays Alzheimers, Alters Cause of Symptoms
- Firefox 2.0 RC2 finally good enough
September 2006
- Grr… Is It Really That Hard To Spell My Name?
- Watch Movie “Crank”
- Ben Folds Covers “Such Great Heights”
- Fancy New Post
- I Miss TheSmartass
- rrrrraaaaa
August 2006
July 2006
- Time to switch to utorrent
- It’s Raining
- Denied
- Resolution
- GRR
- 6 Hour Marathon
- Selling parts and finding cockroaches
- A little time to dr/th ink
- Tidbits
June 2006
- So Shoot Me
- Sooo Tired
- Shiney New Job
- Temporary Return to Old Design
- Super Day
- Copying Cds = Funding Terrorism
- Get Some Shiny New Software
- Rooney Got One Right
- Me Vs. Me
- Save The Internet
- Rasputin Kicked My Ass
- Proof of WIP
- Mythbusters Girl Goes FHM
- Zombie Survival Guide
- Strawberry Turd Nuggets
- 113 or is it 111
- The New, Less Angry Plan
- 1GB USB Flash Drive 4 $22.25
- Disaronno On The Rocks (NOT Tanqueray)
- A NOT Good Day ALREADY~!
May 2006
- A Good Day?
- Chile Relleno
- Let Tradition DIE!!!
- EMO
- Woman / Cat Theory
- X-Men Dissapointment
- The Annoying Compatibility Issues
- So, I’m Good @ Darts Now…
- Job Pushed Back AGAIN
- All My TV Shows Are Going Away
- New Blog 4 U 2 Poop On
- New Design This Week!
- DaVinci Code
- Cold Lava
- Pastey White No More
- Flagstaff or Bust
- 6.0 Outline
- Dismantling The Demon
- Christians Figured Out That Rock Is Evil
- Will Drill Holes For $38
- Figured Out My Computer Problem
- Mix and Match Beer
- The Today
- The Yesterday
- “I’m a Private Investigator, but don’t worry your not in trouble”
- TheSmartass Says: Don’t be a Dumbass
- Job is Official…. Eventually
- Basic Instincts
- Sleep… The Leading Cause for “Loss of Blondes”
- How to Piss off a Skinhead
- Terabytes… Should be called TeraBITES
- Past Days … Ala Memento
- Long-ass Drive
April 2006
- New Contact Info
- Defying Physics
- Impending Departure
- Buy My Stuff *UPDATED*
- Throwing Away Memories
- Oprah’s Asshole
- Moving to AZ
- Controlled by Guilt
- How to Annoy Yourself
- A Week of New Art
- Making Use of Time
- Message to my Computer
- Proof That Spelling is Dead
- Fat Lotta Good
- Ignoring Site, Will Continue
March 2006
- Fat Man in Little Shorts
- Eau Claire Let Down
- 90%
- Still Nasty
- Zombie Cover Up
- Tequila, Leave Shyness Behind.
- Fucked Duck
- Coffee, You Just Aren’t Making It Right
- Warning, MAY not be online
- New Old Chair Causes Side Effects
- A few days behind..
- Alt Update
- So Much For Cool
- The Invention of a BrrKu
- The Grady Bunch
- Mr. On the Rocks
- Proof of Monkey
- The Full Chinese
February 2006
- Ethereal 2.0
- Tangelo’s in Wisconsin
- Return to the Hottub
- Once More Into the Breach…
- Waking Life
- Turmoil, or not to Turmoil
- Doctor Visit
- The Bad Kids
- Freebies
- If My Foot Falls Off….
- Stuff and Junk
- Double Day Blues
- Internet For Granted
- Kinky Kong Beastiality
- Smartass in Demand
- Long Hair
- Story Inspired Fan Art…
- Mark: The Untold Story
- NO, I really did mean flint!!!!!
- In Like Flint
- Elizabethtown
- Uno’s Spinoccoli
- Wet Sanding
January 2006
- Lost My Inspiration
- Unnecessicarly Long Old Story
- Sorry no backdating (or hair) this time
- Journey Home
- So I’m a Drug Lord… So What?
- My blog, as read by Steven Hawking
- Why’d ya stop
- A 3 Hour (de)Tour
- Roadside Dump
- Only Live Once
- LOL, See, I told you, ya should ask-a-smartass
- Great ways to mess up somebody elses car!
- Sun Strike Over
- Christian Music = Good?
- Spineless??
- Million Dollar Ideas
- The Cold Excuse
- Nickel and Dimed
December 2005
- The Weekly Pisser
- The Bday
- Ask-a-Smartass
- OiNK for the Holidays!
- All I want to do is nothing
- Talking Boxes
- Back to Town
- Oh Deer!
- Lousy Commies
- Gift of Geek
- Prepping for Hostile Takeover
- Not-so Anonymous Browsing
- Jailhouse Rock
- Christmas Carols ‘05
- Page Updates (revised)
- Accident Season
- Christmahauna -kwanzaakah List
- Born Smartass Cliff Notes, Dec 1-8
- Fix Frozen Tabs from Adblock In Firefox
- Forgive & Forget, Or Steal Something
- I Just Got Googled, & I Didn’t Like It
- Google Just Fucked Me!
- Which Causes…
- My Big Bad Threatening Site
- Return of the Power Ballad
November 2005
- Wish I Was a Bastard
- Internal Alarm Clock
- Secret Formula (revised)
- Slippery Turkey Saga
- SmartAss A Day, Keeps Doctor Away
- Reverse Telecommuting
- What He Said
- Blog Monster Vs. Sleep Demon
- The Ol’ Hiding In Plain Sight Trick
- Senseless Bureau
- 30 Second Police Story
- Evil Dead Head
- A Happy Post
- NOT a Happy Post
- Plyometrics Puddle
- Capitalism and Cows
- Men’s Rules (that women should know)
- My State of Mind
- 13 Movies in a Row
- Unintentional COLD Turkey
- Roommate’s New Toy
October 2005
- Stay
- Pufferfish
- Halloween on State St.
- I Meant Tomorrow!
- The Answer (to your questions)
- Decisions, What a Pain in the Ass!
- Internal Conflict, Externalized
- How to Tick People Off
- Fucking Internet Explorer Bullshit
- Fucking Hilarious
- Sega Genesis Working!
- Your Next Bumper Sticker
- At Witty’s End
- Sociology For Smartass’
- Almost…
- Things to do when you’re bored
- How to be a Successful Evil Overlord
- The Smartass Behind the Smartass
September 2005
- Psychology of Color
- Bullshit in, Bullshit Out
- Look, Just Stay Home
- I Pitty Da Fool
- Quotes I Would Add to Site, If I Wasn’t Lazy
- Not A Nice Guy
- Proof That Girls Are Evil
- Darwin ‘05
- How to Keep an Idiot Busy…
- I Just Sanded My Hand
- Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
- New Shiznit For The SmartAss
- Work Screwing Up Blogging
- I Got the Stigmata
- Shiny New Nametag
- Snapple Bottles…
- Pull-Up or Bust
August 2005
- Do You Have a Dirty Mind?
- KILLER High Speed Shit Storm
- Is Your Mother Dead?
- Work / Party / Concert / Party / Fire
- Insert Missing Finger in Last Post
- Blog on Vacation
- Impressing My Boss’ Boss’ Boss
- It Never Happened
- Elevator Action
- NUTS (revised)
- Stupid Jerkoff
- Time [Not] Well Spent
- Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
- 38,437 Lives Saved
- Top 5 Smart Ass Answers
- (SmartAss) INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
- Cheesy Jambalaya
- You Mean There Are More People Like Jana?
- 80K / yr.
- Good Timing
- Fuck If I Know
- I am Officially Certifiable
- You Motorboatin’ Motherfucker!
- Big-A-Fire
- Who Swapped my Sister With an English Teacher
- To Honda or Not to Honda
- A G’day
- Chumbscrubber ?
- Server Moved
July 2005
- Beer Tents are Boring
- Killing Her Quickly
- Double Down
- Naive Rapper
- ROT3K Obsession
- The Ass
- Hot Rocker Chick
- Sizzle Free Fajitas
- Spell Check = Grandmotherfucker
- Not Even a Double Wide
- Cock Gobbler 2.0
- Hijacked News-Feed
- Ya Gotta Love the Bikini
- Near Death x2
- Wedding Crasher
- Fo’ shizzle … o’ no’ fo’ shizzle?
- Don’t Like It? Ban It.
- What the Hell am I Doing?
- Foreign Exchange
- The Smart Ass Recommends!
- Absinthe, Beer & Milk
- Running With Beer
- Will Marry For Citizenship
- Viva La Bam
- Third Times the Charm
- Lucid Dreams and Canoeing
- Where’s the damn faerie?
- I miss my powerball…
- Terabyte Under Fire
- Antisocial Bastard.
- Fire = Good
June 2005
- 4 Hot Bitches!
- Looks better in firefox?
- CHARTERMUSTDIE
- 4WD
- Moving / Shaking
- My bad, did I just steal your chair?
- DEATH, or not..
- Yippie!!!! J/K
- Good Ol’ PSP-Hacker
- News Flash: Homosapien Males Easily Manipulated by Mammories
- Some people’s siblings!
- Bad Inet, no dessert for you…
- Vince Vaughn is in Everything!
- no bullshit!
- Slamming Doors / Hottub Covers
- Emailing in Blog Posts
- Jessie #$^$#^ James
- 10+ reasons to give me shit.
- Isn’t that special….
- I got a shoutout from mania tv!
- What doesn’t kill you makes you blistered…
- One of those website days…
- About #$^%$#^ Time
- The No Internet Blues
- Wasn’t that fun? No, not really….
- Ya do the Cantenna!
- Being a professional has perks
- Better than expected….
May 2005
- Way to be a sucky day!
- Legal Threats & Strippers
- The wedding.(aka, excuse for long ass post)
- Off to see the wizard… err..
- Actually worked on Smartass
- Hella-Big Rocks
- The Boobie Prize
- The Movie…
- Downloading Star Wars
- So much for favorite pants.
- Whoop, My Bad…(unabridged)
- Baby Got Back?
- Attack of the Twizzlers Monster
- Bleach
- Hella Tired
- Black Squirrels Kick Ass
- Fuk-u-Sand
- On a Whim…
- What I learned from “Team America”
April 2005
- Samurai Champloo
- Cock Gobbler
- Day 2: Crunch Time
- Day 1, getting up is hard to do
- Day 3: Walk in the park, without the walk… or the park
- Off to Wonderland
- “They are out to get me”
- Struck Oil…
- Plateau at 500
- Heavy on my mind…
- New series
- 3 days at a time
- WTF is this stuck in my head for….
- Weekly Event
- Anime again
- Good TV and no Paul (no more)
- Goo
- Religion…
- List of bullshit injuries…
- Windows go up, or is it down?
- Fire, Fire
- Stupid ankle
- Comspiracy
- Un #$^#$&^ believable
- All Good Things Must Come to an End
- Angry Gods, Angry Bees & Me
- Peace and Quiet
- Saturday
- 1st Year with no April Fools
March 2005
- Steve Urkel Day
- Mindless Slaughter
- SSDD
- Fucked Up Dreams
- Good Times
- COOL SHIT!!!!
- Lousy Slow, Crappy Internet Connection
- Old Friends…
- Cars
- Fat / Lazy Day
- Learning is fun…. I swear!
- Luck Happens…. Or Does It?