Like death and taxes, there is no escaping color. It is ubiquitous. Yet what does it all mean? Why are people more relaxed in green rooms? Why do weightlifters do their best in blue gyms?

Colors often have different meanings in various cultures. And even in Western societies, the meanings of various colors have changed over the years. But today in the U.S., researchers have generally found the following to be accurate.
Black

Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.
White

Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.
Red

The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.
Blue

The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.
Green

Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in “green rooms” to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.
Yellow

Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.
Purple

The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.
Brown

Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.
Colors of the Flag

In the U.S. flag, white stands for purity and innocence. Red represents valor and hardiness, while blue signifies justice, perseverance, and vigilance. The stars represent the heavens and all the good that people strive for, while the stripes emulate the sun’s rays.
Food for Thought

While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. When food dyed blue is served to study subjects, they lose appetite.

Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.

Ok, so tonight (yes, I said tonight, yes this is backdated a week, just humor me ok?), my friend lays this sob story on me. Setting: We were at a movie, and had just left to drive home.

He starts to tell me that the entire time we had been at a movie that he was miserable. Not because it was a lousy miserable movie, but because he was upset that he had left his sick wife at home.

Now apparently when he left the Mrs. said to have a good time (and not that it matters, but she meant it). Well he tells me that all he could do was sit and be miserable for being an ass to leave a sick wife at home.

So I had to tell him how it was…. Basically I said that it didn’t matter if she meant it or not, why worry about it now? If she did mean it then it would probably upset her more to know he spent his time NOT having a good time. If she didn’t really mean it, well… he would find out about it later and would deal with it then.

Well this lead us to another can of worms. Worrying. This is something that in all the time I have known him, has occupied probably 90% of his constant thought process.

So I pointed out what a waste of time that is. So perhaps you made a bad decision in the past, well you dealt with it when it happened and moved on. However maybe it was a good decision, however you were to busy focusing on the shitty details of what could of went wrong if you went for something that you choose not to do it.

LIFE is what you focus on people. WHAT the hell difference does it make to dwell on decisions that you have already made? Or for that matter what good will it do to sit and worry about what problems you will have in the future. When the problem arises DEAL with it. I mean if you spend 3 hours worrying about something that MIGHT happen, and then it never happens you just wasted 3 hours of you life.

Oh the other hand if life is how you look at it, and you are always looking at it pessimist then you will end up getting crappy results. Bullshit in, bullshit out.

Yes basically I batched out my friend for spending every waking second of his life worrying about other people and never himself. Constantly dwelling, worrying, and just being depressed over every little thing that can, might, or won’t ever happen!

I don’t care how Buddhist it sounds, but maybe they got it right on this one: Life in the Now!

True, perhaps I don’t worry enough. I mean I might just up and quit my job on a whim because I am not happy. When I feel over stressed If I know there is no easy fix for it, I tend to distance myself from the situation. I am sure there are several people who spend their precious time worrying about me; when will I pay off my debt, when will I get a job, will the job I got be the right one for me, I haven’t heard from him in awhile I wonder if he’s ok…. Personally I don’t see the point. If you want to know how I am doing, ask! I always get by no matter what is going on, perhaps the decisions I make are not the ones you would make….

It does not have to be your problem…. Unless I make it your problem, so save your time for life.

I was reading up on some travel information and I ran across a site that listed various stories from real travel agents. Yes, I am once again being lazy and not putting my own stories on this blog, so I figured somebody elses would do!

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. “Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.” Her response … click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”

I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said “But they look so close on the map.”

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” I said, “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?” After putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it” (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.”

A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.”

A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”

I SWEAR, I have seen a picture of Mr. T, every single day for 4 straight days.

This must be some sort of sick brainwashing or mental torture thing going on that I am not privy to, because that just isn’t right. I mean HELLO, it’s not the 80’s anymore~!

Now being very visual I would normally post a picture here, but ya know what? That would cause me to have to see him for another few days!!!!~!!!!

If this is some sort of government conspiracy, I just want you to know that I am on to you, and that you had better change your tactics, I mean if you need to make me see some famous person every day, how about Elisha Cuthbert, or Emmanuelle Chriqui!!!!!!

Long story short, you can’t login to the quote script on my website even with the right user and password due to some crappy super user script that the server owner puts on.

Now technically If I felt like being hard-core, I am the man so I can edit the sql file to insert quotes directly into my database, but I do not feel like doing this, so instead I will simply kill 2 birds with one stone, add my new quotes, AND write a new blog post! Aren’t you lucky!

“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.”
–Bobcat Goldthwait

“I’ve been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That’s where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister’s house and ask her for money.”
–Kevin Meaney

“My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’ ”
–Paula Poundstone

“In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?”
–Warren Hutcherson

“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
–Elayne Boosler

“Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
–John Mendoza

“Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.”
–Steven Wright

“Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should beseverance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.”
–Bob Ettinger

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.”
–Conan O’Brien

“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
–Winston Spear

“Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.”
–Sue Murphy

“My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.”
–Ron Richards

“I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.”
–Lily Tomlin

“USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.”
–David Letterman

“Chihuahua. There’s a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is still far away.”
–Billiam Coronell

“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.”
–Rita Rudner

“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.”
–Lily Tomlin

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me,
the guy in back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off. I’ve got the toe clippers right here.’”
–Jerry Seinfeld

“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.”
–Steven Wright

“I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ‘Whoa, I’m way too high!’ ”
–Bruce Baum

“I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don’t know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: ‘I’m hot. I’m on fire. Me, me, me.’ You know. ‘Help me, put me out.’ Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?”
–Garry Shandling

“I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.’”
–Richard Jeni

“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”
–Paul Rodriguez

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God….I could be eating a slow learner.”
–Lynda Montgomery

So I suppose the polite thing to do while I had a day off of work would have been to fill in all the past week+ worth of blog posts. However I am clinging to my days off like there is no tomorrow. There are a couple other reasons why I was not a nice guy today, maybe it would be nice if I were to say them, but I am not a nice guy today.

I was very good about the daily post thing, and If nothing else I have found many funny ass websites over the past couple weeks that I could share.

I however choose not to work on any of this. The only thing my computer was doing all day was getting formatted and reinstalled. Of course I switched from one problem to another. From bad drivers causing hardware crashes before the format. To windows not memorizing passwords after the format.

See I choose to put a slimed down version of XP on this time around, one that is hella fast due to the removal of many crappy features. However one feature I did not plan on being missing was the ability to save passwords.

Now this sounds like a stupid problem. Firefox can save passwords, what else do I need!? Well funny thing, my wireless internet connection no longer memorizes the WEP encryption code needed to use it. A simple fix would be for me to make my wireless network open and unsecured. However I do not like that option. Also Outlook 2003 does not save the passwords to my email, so I can not have it auto-send/receive every five minutes anymore ;(

So I spent my time researching the problem only to find a bunch of ways to fix it that don’t actually fix it. I could just install a normal copy of XP, but this one is SO much faster.

In between fixing this I have been playing burnout revenge on ps2, and burnout legends on psp. Yes that’s a lot of burnout for just one man, but hopefully I don’t get my midlife crisis for quite some time and can handle a little burnout now.

So, to backdate or not to backdate that is the question!? Shit, I told some people I would write about my trip to Chicago (which i didn’t), and my first couple car sales, and other such fun tidbits, but alas I am not going to. If you haven’t noticed despite the fact that I have not really been updating the blog, I have been adding lots of fun flash stuff / games to the site.

I think my life is more interesting when I tell it in person, and when online, well lets just keep it funny k?

Ever hear of the Darwin Awards? Given to the people who die in the stupidest ways every year. I decided I should post the ‘05 awards. For more go to darwinawards.com

(3 January 2005, St. Maurice, Switzerland) It was the first week of a weapons refresher course, and Swiss Army Grenadier Detachment 20/5 had just finished training with live ammunition. The shooting instructor ordered the soldiers to secure their weapons for a break.

The 24-year-old second lieutenant, in charge of this detachment, decided this would be a good time to demonstrate a knife attack on a soldier. Wielding his bayonet, he leaped toward one of his men, achieving complete surprise.

But earlier that week, the soldiers had been drilled to release the safety catch and ready their guns for firing in the shortest possible time. The surprised soldier, seeing his lieutenant leaping toward him with a knife, snapped off a shot to protect himself from the attack.

The lesson could not have been more successful: the soldier had saved himself and protected the rest of the detachment from a surprise attack. The lieutenant might have wished to commend his soldier on his quick action and accurate marksmanship. Unfortunately, he had been killed with one shot.

————————————

(28 January 2005, Pendang, Thailand) It’s no secret that elephants are big. Elephants eat hundreds of pounds of food a day just to maintain their weight. Indian elephants are nine feet tall at the shoulder, and the males have tusks that extend over three feet. They’re so powerful that in Southeast Asia they are used to haul massive tree trunks with their tusks, work performed by heavy equipment in other countries.

It’s also no secret that teasing an animal can make it mad. Teasing a nine-foot-tall animal that can carry a tree with its three-foot tusks may not be a good idea. Yet that was the very idea that formed in Prawat’s head, when he saw a herd of five performing elephants chained to trees outside a Buddhist temple.

While the owner waited inside for an entertainment permit, Prawat, a 50-year-old rubber-tapper, offered sugar cane to one of the ever-hungry elephants… then pulled it away. Then he did it again. And again. And again.

The game was great fun for Prawat, but the elephant quickly tired of it. The last time Prawat withdrew the treat, the elephant swung his massive tusks and gored him through the stomach. He died on the way to Alor Star Hospital.

————————————

The elephants were trampling Christian’s maize field, which he planted on an elephant trail of long standing. He had to find a way to fight back! Fortunately, there was an old minefield nearby, on the Zimabwe-Mozambique border. Christian figured a few landmines planted around his field would soon teach the elephants a lesson they would never forget.

Christian may have gotten the idea of using the mines from a couple of incidents that had recently transpired. A local resident had been injured after picking up a landmine while herding cattle the week before. A week before that, another Rushinga man had lost part of his leg after stepping on a landmine. The other villagers saw the writing on the wall, and avoided the landmines.

But Christian realized they were just what he needed! Clearly, these mines could cause great damage to an elephant! He dug up five that had been exposed by recent heavy rains, and began carrying them home.

These unstable mines detonated, killing Christian instantly.

Then total number of elephants injured? Zero.

Yeah so stigmata’s don’t exactly feel nice while they heal. A…t this point I have a hole in my hand, that feels like “a death by stoning” everytime I move my hand. So I decided that the best remedy to making it less hard was not neosporin, or some crappy moisturizer but good ol gritty sandpaper.

Actually I gotta say, that smoothed the shit out of it (i’d say smooth as a baby’s ass, but I never really understood that one, i mean it’s closer to truth than say “sleep like a baby” but still). It actually hurts much less now and I am thinking that the hole was so big / deep *grin* that my hand may never actually feel the same again.

I mean the sanding did the trick for the surface, but it feels like I still have a centimeter worth of scar tissue which may never heal. Yep, I will be forced to suffer with these for all of my existence and be constantly reminded of it (like a cross for example).

In the same vein though I am considering selling the sandpaper that was used to smooth out my scars, or at least inventing some legend about it… ala shroud.

Other things that sucked today: ~~~~~~
I needed a FULL tank of gas today, and for a little 94 prelude it cost me $47.02 just for the gas! NO JOKE. Now maybe if I had a bigass urban assult vehicle with a 30 gallon tank that would be cool, but mine is only 15, fucking gas prices, when I was 14 I made that much money a month delivering newspapers every day! Now with all the driving I am doing I am spending $40 bucks a week!!!!!

hmm, nothing else really sucked today, except I am tired from my Chicago trip yesterday, but this “things that suck” seems like a good excuse for a post tomorrow. ;)