Whoop, My Bad…(unabridged)

Saturday, May 14th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

So today is cram day right… I can get all the things done and figured out for Mike’s wedding reception tomorrow, like the speech I am giving and wrapping up their present. Not to mention Josh’s “bachelor party” before that. You know if it weren’t for the last minute nothing would get done at all……………………………………………………………………..

Except there is one problem with the above logic. I am an IDIOT, who doesn’t have that much time.

Basically I decided it would be a lazy stay at home day, where I would erase my computer and reinstall everything, while it was reinstalling I decided to take a nap since I was tired… Seems logical… Only I was awaken by my phone with Marie calling to say that I was supposed to be at the reception so I could give that speech etc… ASAP, um I have that on my calendar for to morrow, right after josh’s bachelor party! Well my calendar was wrong. Now I live in Madison, not Janesville where this was, so I fly like a mofo on speed and do the whole S.S.S. (if you can’t figure it out don’t ask), tried to make my hair nice and throw on a tie and nice clothes very fast as well…

Had to run to the basement to dig up a box to put their present in, it will be more fun this way seeing as how they will not have to wait to unwrap it since I don’t have time to wrap it. Dive out of the house and fly as fast as I could down to Janesville… Catching fairly good luck I manage to go 85-90 the whole way while following other people… Nice and safe.

Get another call, HOW FAR ARE YOU? WE NEED YOU IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES.

Ok lucky for me I was only 2 mins away at that point. Of course then I needed to give the speech. Well I knew the first part, didn’t know the second part at all… So it was a good thing the first part made everybody laugh, and hopefully forget the crap I said after that.

I will say this, first wedding reception I have ever been to that served $4000 worth of pizza for all the courses. Needless to say I am not one for the stupid music that comes after dinner, there are normally only a couple stupid ones, but this dj only played slow songs and then stupid ones. I danced with Marie’s sister for a lot of those slow ones.

Somewhere along the line I decided I liked her. She was hot and said exactly what was on her mind. Of course she’s a catholic / military girl. Odd combo, but she was shipping out to Germany the very next day, and was staying with her father over night as soon as the reception was over. So I let it go. Of course this teaches me that I need to start working out more, as my self confidence is a lot lower than it used to be.

So I got a call from some people in Madison telling me to come over when the reception was done, but I decided I would rather stay over night in Fort so it’s easy to get to Josh’s “Bachelor party” tomorrow.

Except that I call over there and his fiance tells me that the bachelor party was tonight, and that they are probably at the church. Yes a church, hence the “”’s on “bachelor party”. So I drive down there and get there just as everybody is packing up their videogames (no I’m not kidding, it really was a bachelor party) and leaving the church.

So I say hi for a minute and offer to give Josh’s dad a ride home. I was the last to leave the church parking lot, and a minute later a cop pulls me over. Starts freaking out about what I was doing late at night at a church, and come on… What cop would believe that there was a bachelor party going on at a church, and the tv’s etc.. that everybody was hauling out were the entertainment.

It was probably convenient that Jim was with me to point out that it was his son’s party and that he is a bigshot at the little church.

Wow, long day… Tomorrow should be a breeze.

Baby Got Back?

Friday, May 13th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

So my sister was calling me all day today, basically her sound card was not working quite right, and well… i’m a computer guy. Honestly there is no good reason for it not to work right, I ran her through the long tedius process of uninstalling and reinstalling drivers etc… Weirdest thing, it worked in winamp and not in anything else. Probably needs a new card, but I am not there to actually diagnose that so I referred her to the creative support.

I guess she decided I was getting annoyed with all the phone calls and decided to take me to a movie and pay for it ;) Movie was Sahara. I didn’t know anything about it, just figured it was some dude walking through a big ass pile of sand for an hour and a half. It was actually pretty good…

After that we went to UNO’s. We were in seperate cars and I got there first and as I was waiting a girl walked up to uno’s who was wearing a hooded sweatshirt. She turned around and I noticed that she had a big picture of Madonna on the back of the sweatshirt. Well funny thing, the hood falls over the top of Madonna’s head, so if you look at this girl from behind, all you see on her back is Madonna’s Breasts.

I found this rather amusing to say the least, I mean you think she would be content to just have boobs on the front and not the back, but I am a guy, and I realized long ago that women don’t abide by the laws of logic.

Attack of the Twizzlers Monster

Thursday, May 12th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

So today my sister bought this twizzlers pull and peel things… well that’s all fine and dandy except she decided that she should play with it, and twist it into a little man and then make it dance….

Background info: My sister is almost 29 years old, and is a supervisor where she works.

So I decided I needed to take pictures of this nonsense.. She broke out in hysterical laughter but insisted that she would be very upset if I posted any of those pictures to my website…

So instead I made an artistic rendering of the chaos that ensued. Below shows a likeness of my sister, she has pretty big hands that are holding her twizzlers creation, the arrow points out that she is pondering what it would be like to eat it, but deciding it would be better to make it dance.

Actual picture may not be to scale…

Bleach

Tuesday, May 10th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Spent today watching 30 episodes of this anime called Bleach…

It’s fantastic… but once again, the series is still in progress… However I can handle waiting for more with such fantastic quotes as “Are you having trouble balancing your school work and your work as a Death God?”

ah good stuff… here’s a torrent of the first 25 episodes for you all to enjoy… get it while it’s still a fansub, nice and legal that way ;)

Bleach (subtitled) 1-25
More (26+)

Hella Tired

Monday, May 9th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I got home from Michigan tonight. I wasn’t planning on coming back until Wednesday but my friend had a school trip to Canada and I didn’t want to go with.

I haven’t had internet the whole time I have been gone… So in my typical fassion I will be backdating posts to the best of my memory recolection.

Today on the long drive home I decided to stop to visit my uncle who lives in upper Illinois. Well short story long (yes i said that how i meant it), I get to his house based on pure memory and luck and he was not home… So I decided to sit outside and wait for a little while since I had my new toy. A Sony PSP…. good stuff…

However I think I was creeping his neighbors out just sitting in the car in front of their house, so I left him a message and went home.’

When I got here I was going to go to this girl I know’s party at some bar, but I was super tired and ended up going to bed at like 10pm!

Black Squirrels Kick Ass

Sunday, May 8th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I went to sleep late last night and then slept like crap, I mean I was not expecting perfect sleep being on a futon and all but I figured I would still sleep fine. So when I got up today I played some Dynasty Warriors on the PSP and then ended up getting tired and went back to sleep.

When I got up Dan and I decided to go for a walk and buy some junk from Dairy Queen. I have never seen such a “line” in my life. There were people packed in here and it was very badly organized how they were working it, so 30 mins later we left and walked back towards his house.

Dan was nice enough to let me use his cell to call my mom for mothers day since mine was roaming. It was kind of a fun conversation since It was held on top of the Howitzer that is in Dan’s yard for historical purposes or something….

FYI: Michigan has Black Squirrels, they kick ass.

Fuk-u-Sand

Saturday, May 7th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Today Dan and I drove to some National Park that had sand dunes everywhere. Until we got there I had felt sick, I almost never feel sick but I kept burping despite not having eaten all day, bleh..

Anyway we walked around the sand for a long time, it’s a really good workout. We were almost done and back to the car when we decided to be stupid. There was this HUGE sand dune that went almost straight up. Now it’s not that I am out of shape, simply that I am the wrong shape…. However with my shape trying to waddle up the sand I got SO damn tired and had to stop numerous times. Well point be damned we both got up, and I took a picture with my phone at the top looking down…

I gotta say it was really fun going down the dune, though I ended up with 8′ of sand in my shoes it was still fun and I am glad we made it up there… A real accomplishment.

Well we stopped at a Best Buy store and while Dan was in the bathroom I was wandering around and I saw a PSP on demo, now I had no interest in this thing until I saw it. The demo blew my mind, the quality on the screen was fucking amazing! There were all these music videos and movie previews, games etc…

I bought it… Yes I questioned my sanity when she was ringing up the system, a couple games and dvd’s and told me 400 bucks. I mean this was an impulse buy. A very expensive one, and it will mark the first time since I was 14 that I will have to pay for all the video games I buy for the system. Take that however you will, this thing will cost me some money in the long run.

If it wasn’t so damn shiny I could of resisted… Oh well I highly recommend one to all of you who have money burning a whole in your pocket.

Later in the night we watched “The Girl Next Door”… Yes that marks the third time I have seen it this month, but Dan had never seen it so it was definatly a necessicary evil.

On a Whim…

Wednesday, May 4th, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

So I was talking to my friend Dan, near the beginning of the conversation he said “you should come over this weekend”. I immediately said “sure”. Seems simple enough right? Well it would be except he lives 6 hours away ; ).

I thought about it after I had said that and decided it was the best decision since I am not really doing anything all that important this week. I would need to be back before the 15th since that day there is a bachelor’s party and then I need to leave that to go to a different friends wedding reception. It is very important to show up for that one since I had to be a dick and not go to Texas for their wedding.

Speaking of tomorrow is their wedding. I have to go to Covance tomorrow morning for awhile, but then get to leave there with a big fat check (which is good since unemployment won’t pay me for last week). That covance appointment is why I couldn’t make it to the wedding, which they probably spite me for right now… Oh well shit happens.

Actually I think I will head out to Michigan early tomorrow afternoon instead of waiting around another day.

What I learned from “Team America”

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005 | Uncategorized | No Comments

“We’re reckless arrogant stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks, but dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just wanna shit on everything. Pussies may think that they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t appropriate, and it takes a pussy to show ‘em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don’t know much in this crazy crazy world. But I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit.”